Kindness (noun) according to Webster Dictionary means favor, affection, sympathetic nature, benevolence; this word means manifesting a desire to do good/kind.
So basically it is in our nature to have the ability to do something good, a desire to be kind.
Now, the problem is kindness will not happened only by a desire, kindness needs action.
By nature, we have the ability/desire,
by choice we act the desire of our heart to do good or bad.
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
Ephesians 4:32 ESV
"Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love"
1 John 4:8 ESV
As a Christian, it is our most important commandment in life to love God and others because God is love and to love God means to obey Him (1 John 2:5 and 1 John 5:3).
As a human being,
it is impossible to see around us and not having the compassion, desire and ability to do good
for other people.
As a normal people, of course we will have good and bad experiences when we offered our kindness to other people, because not everyone is grateful to receive such help.
Not everyone is wired to say "Thank You" or shows appreciation based on their arrogant heart, lack of compassion, prideful behavior or bad experience with people in the past (that includes their upbringing in a family).
So, by nature, God created us with a good seed from him.
But, on the day we were born, we started interact with other human being. That is the first day of us learned and experienced kindness or the opposite.
So, I do not believe that there is a human being who is evil from the day they were born. What they experienced from that day determines their ability to do good or not.
How we live our lives everyday is a choice to do good or evil.
So, the blame game really is just an excuse to run away from being a responsible human being to do the right thing.
I am one of those people who works better with giving than receiving/asking for help. I just do not have the heart to ask other people to help me because I do not want to bother them with my problems. Due to me being an only child, I tend to do everything by myself and I am content with my "alone but not lonely time" according to my dear friend Mara ;)
But, not asking for help when you needed is not the right thing to do in a certain situation.
See, I am a big believer in trying the best and along the way if you think you need help, then you should seek one. But, you tried first!
Doing everything by yourself is insanity at some point. You need other people to help you out, even if it means it might not be the way you want it, but hey..a help is a help, receive it with a grateful heart LOL!
Now, because I prefer giving than asking for help, I am, of course, the people-pleaser group of human.
See, it is not a bad thing to make other people happy, it becomes a bad thing when we forget to understand that we are just a human and we too, need some love and help (say it...help! lol).
What I love the most of being the helper and the people-pleaser person is my ability to make something good happened for others and to see how happy they are when they received it.
Priceless moment!
"In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”
Acts 20:35 ESV
The bad thing is that not everyone appreciate it and not everyone treats me right, many of them were taking advantage of my kindness.
I hate those moments,
because my kindness turns into anger, sadness and it discouraged me to a point where I hate human and I only see the negative sides of them or I will do no good anymore attitude.
If you are in that situation when you think and know that people are taking advantage of your kindness, think of these:
-You do it for someone that you respect/love the most (may it be God, family, etc)
-You do it for a greater purpose
-You are doing the right thing (even to the wrong people, you are still the good person)
-It is better to chose good over evil
-Its rewarding for you
-Keep in mind that being kind also means being wise!
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a ESV
What I am trying to say is that when you are kind to other people and you help them and they are taking advantage of you, understand that there is also a boundary of offering your help to other people. If you are in a situation when you are hurt, sad, feel used and even to the point of abused by other people that you helped then maybe you should stop doing that for them.
Of course being kind is a good thing, but being kind without wisdom could be dangerous.
When you do something that is not your job, but you do it anyway out of the goodness of your heart, that is kindness. Even though we do good thing without expecting anything in return, but when kindness means someone used you for their own benefit in a very bad/selfish way, that is not good.
For me, I think kindness is every sacrifice we made for the benefit of other people. May it be energy, time, money, prayer, help, etc.
People tend to appreciate or categorize kindness as in "money" alone and we must admit that money is a big help in people's lives, but kindness is not limited to money alone.
Spending time with a person in need, making a meal for a family who just lost their loved ones, praying with a stranger in a hospital, buy a stranger some food, give your shoes to those in need, helping a child cross a street, give up your seat on a bus for an elderly man, giving water or a home to a homeless dog, answering the phone with a nice voice, not yelling at other people, share some tips on how to make their computer works better, etc..are acts of kindness!
"And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount."
Luke 6:34 ESV
By nature, we all have the ability to do good and be kind to other people.
Whether we do it or not is our choice!
Kindness is a sacrifice for other people's good benefit, not yours.
It is an unselfish act of love and grace.
But, understand that you must be wise to know which/who needs your help and which/who is just using you for every wrong/evil reasons and purposes.
Kindness suppose to do good not the opposite!
Keep in mind that you too are important, precious and beautiful in God's eyes.
Never lose your identity just because you are too busy fulfilling other people's need and lost yourself.
Read this verse:
"We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves."
Romans 15:1
You must be strong to help the weak, this is why it is important to understand that we need to take care of ourselves so that we could take care of other people.
Strong does not mean we have to wait to do good until we are "strong" (financially, physically, etc) then do good.
Strong as in we know who we are (our faith) in Christ,
we understand why we are doing this,
we give with what we have to those in need,
not just to those who are poor financially, but physically, spiritually and mentally exhausted with life.
This is why we need to be strong because if we are weak, drained and exhausted with our own life, our kindness will turn into complaining, comparing, weary, judgment, asking for credit and all the wrong reasons.
Also, we must be strong to say no to those who just used our kindness for bad things out of their greediness, manipulation, laziness, and evil thought.
One more and VERY important thing:
Be kind to your enemy.
They might be one of those people who used you for your kindness for their benefit, but just because you refused to do certain things for them because you know they will use that for all the wrong things, it does not mean you have to be rude to them.
Even if they meant evil toward you,
"Kill" them with kindness
;)
"If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat;
if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,
and the LORD will reward you."
Proverbs 25:22-23
"A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve."
Indeed
:)
xoxo,
Lindsay
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