Puppy awwh so cute..urrgghh a lot of work!

I love dogs and I am so in love with them when they were a puppy. Those little tails, little chubby body, their eyes..awwhh..so cute!

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What I do not like is to train them..urrghh..some puppies are learning fast and some are taking such a long time to train them.

I would recommend Cesar Millan from "The Dog Whisperer" in National Geographic Channel.

via google search

You should watch his show to understand better, but I love his methods for dog,which is exercise,discipline and affection. He recommend to take a dog for a walk everyday and then he taught me not to let the dog walk in front of me (because that would make them a leader and not you as the owner), he taught me to have short lease and put it on the dog's neck high and correct them right away when they do something wrong because their brain learned not to do it again, he taught me to give affection to them after discipline.

Cesar also taught me in his show that if you just adopted a pet, take him out for a walk before you enter the house. That way the dog learned his neighborhood. Then take the dog to his "bathroom" LOL. Before we enter the house, show the dog where he should do his "business".

Cesar also taught me about "The Power of The Pack," basically it means dog is a social creature. They need their kind to play with, interact, etc. But, the interesting fact is that dog can teach other dog how to behave. Some dogs become better or become worst after hanging out with other dogs LOL.

Cesar also has an important point of "human/handler's energy." He always reminds the viewer to be a calm and assertive pack leader or handler. If you are confused and fear and not showing any leadership toward your dog, they became the pack leader and they will make you go nuts.

I have one dog named Luke, we named him after we watched "Cool Hand Luke" LOL. I tried everything Cesar taught me from the time we adopted him from PETCO in Jamacha, San Diego. He is a Terrier mix, we adopted him when he was 3 months old.

Luke is a great,obedient,fun,playful and mellow dog. He is very smart, I taught him to do tricks only ONE time....yes..one time and he got it right away. He loves to run and chasing other dogs. He never bite other dogs. He alerts us if there is a stranger coming to our hallways. He eats whatever we give him. He chewed some of our stuff when he first got to our house, but after ONE "No" he never do that anymore. He always follows us wherever we go, sit on our feet and lick us ..eww..!!

Dog is a man best friend..hmm..that is kinda true. I do know that bad dog doesn't exist, only bad owner or bad people who is taking advantage of the dogs by making them a dog fighter, a mean dog, or neglect them by not feeding them or give them the disciplines they need.

God gave dominion for human to have power over the earth,including to animals. It is up to us to train them, love and care for these creatures. I HATE people who eats dog, who kill dog just for fun, who made them a fighter to earn money, who neglect them, who is taking advantage of their loyalty and being cruel to them.

I know that a lot of people needs help as well and not just animals. But, if you are not ready to be a pet owner, then do not adopt one yet. If you don't know how to taking care of some animals then don't adopt them. There are other people who wants to adopt them and provide for them.

Please STOP ANIMAL CRUELTY and not just for dogs, but also for all animals out there. They have blood and flesh, they can feel pain. Please don't hurt them!

http://www.animalcruelty.com/

http://stopanimalcruelty.info/

http://hsus.org/acf/

http://www.hsus.org/

xoxo,

Lindsay

Dreams

There are some nights when I have the same dreams over and over again and it scares me. There are some special nights, when I saw something in my dreams and it happened in real life, most of them are tragedy. There are some night, when I had a dream about people I love dearly and I just wanna go back to sleep and dream about it again.

There are times in my life when I wanna be a doctor. Then, it changed to be a politician. Then, it changed to be an actress. Then, it changed to be a president.

There are times in my life when I want to marry Bon Jovi, and then it changed to Tom Cruise, then it changed to Brad Pitt. (What the heck?!?!)

There are times when I want to go to a specific school and it came true. I dream to go to a specific country and it happened. I dream to marry a specific man and it came true. Yippeee..

But, there are times when I know I can do it and turns out I couldn't. There are times when I tried so hard and I failed. There are times when I work so hard for it and I did not get it. There are times when I set my goals and I did not make it on time.

Have you ever lost your dreams? I am not talking about dreams when you were sleeping, or day dreaming about become a Princess or a Rock Star's wife. I am talking about something that you want to gain, your desire, your goal, your inspiration, your dream.

I have always been a goal oriented person since I was a kid. If I set my mind into it, I will do it and when I do it, I would do it perfect. It is in my nature to do well, pay attention to the details and make it work.

What happened to you when your dreams turns into nightmares? What happened when your sweet hope turns sour? What happened when you lost your faith?

Somehow, I know that there is a God. But the thought of "how could He let this happened to me?" is constantly inside my head. I am not blaming God completely for everything that goes wrong in this world and my life in this case. I guess, it is in my human nature to play the blame game, because it is hard to blame ourselves when we know we tried the best we could. Maybe it was not our faults, maybe it is the world against us, or maybe the world is too busy to even pay attention to us?

Failure is not an option! Who the heck wants to fail? nobody. Failure has never been an option, failure is the result that we we don't like to get but yet it showed up a lot in our lifetime.

Failure doesn't mean the end of it, even though it is for some of us. Failure means we need to keep fighting. Failure means we need to look deeper and find what we did wrong and correct it the next time. Failure means we need to look to another option to make it work. Failure means try again.

But, sometimes it is too hard to even think of it. Sometimes we give up on us. We give in to our weaknesses.

I hate when people calls me "hopeless" because it sounds so pathetic. Hopeless makes me feel like as if I don't believe in God, and I do. It bothers me that it bothers me. Even though so many times I do feel hopeless. Not because I don't believe in God anymore, but because I am not sure I can do it anymore. I don't know how God operates anymore. Some people tried so hard and receive less and some people don't even work and make it more. I am talking about money. And the worst part is that the "not working" people doesn't ever try to earn it, they just get it so easily, while we have to earn it so hard. It is just unfair.

I gave up dream a couple of years ago when I saw all my dreams falls apart and crushed into pieces. I even think I am depressed LOL. But, when I look back and thinking what did I do wrong, I could not see anything wrong. I mean, I do made mistakes, but I moved on.

When everything falls apart, it won't be pretty. But we could still build something new. Picking up the pieces is not a fun thing to do, but building something new is a fun thing to do, well at least for me.

Sometimes life throws a lot of things all at once and we have to choose between a dream or a reality. We often chose a dream over a reality and at the end, we ended up hurting ourselves or crushed. Because sometimes dreams are made to remain dreams, when you wake up, you have to get up and live your real life. But, when we chose dream and it is not working out in our real life, maybe we should stop dreaming about it and start living it.

When we dream about something, it is up to us to make it a reality or nightmares. I have a lot of dreams but, many times, I don't have the tools to make it work. I have a lot of dreams but so many times I let myself down because I don't have the confidence I need to make it work. I have a lot of dreams that I gained, I lost some, I crushed some, and some is not even worth to dream about.

Your dream will remain a dream if you do nothing about it and your dream will remain a nightmares if you keep dreaming the same thing over and over again.Your dream will be a reality if you set your mind and work toward it. Your dream is not a failure, even when your result says so. Your dream is yours, failure can't take it away from you, unless you let them go.

Images are taken from google

xoxo,

Lindsay

The Mask

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What is it with people these days? We are all stuck in the middle of our own standard of happiness. We are all let other people defined the meaning of life and whatever package that comes with it.

I love Starbucks because it tastes good or because all your friends hang out in there? I love LV because it is your style or is it because that’s what your girlfriends thought is “cute”.

I wear a thong because I like it or is it because that’s what Victoria Secret’s models are wearing? I spent thousands of dollars for a handbag because I love spending the money I work hard for or is it because that’s how you should keep up with the so called “trend.”

I love to get drunk because I like it or is it your way out of life? I wanna have sex before I am 18 years old because that’s what my friends called “cool” and “mature”.

I wanna get married and if I don’t like it then I just divorce him, that’s what my parents did. I love this and I love that because I love it or because they said, whoever “they” are.

Who are the “they” factor in your life? Who is the most influential person in your life? is it your parents, friends, celebrity? What is the most influential thing in your life? TV, internet, iPod, magazines, books?

What is the most “I cant live without” things in your life? Those are the “they” factors in your life.

Aren’t we all a great actor and actress? We play the “I am good, I am fine” line when someone asked us “How are you doing?”.

We play the “I am OK” line when someone asked us “What’s that black mark around your eyes?”

We play the happy wife and husband role when we are in front of our kids, friends, or even church.

We play the good citizen role when we chanting the name of our President or when we sing the national anthem. We play the good worker’s role when we are in front of our boss. We play the good role as a sexy stripper when we tried to make our husbands happy even though we might not like it. We play the good role of kids when we are in front of our parents, etc.

We are all actors. 

Sometimes we do it because that is how it suppose to be at that moment. Sometimes we do it because that’s what we know how to do it. Sometimes we do it because that is how we feel about it. Sometimes we do it because it makes us feel good. Sometimes we do it because it makes us “somebody”. Sometimes we do it because we love it. Sometimes we do it because we are trying to be honest with the world, this is how we really are (and so many times, the world hates the truth). But we do it anyway!

We are all wearing a mask, some even wear more than one mask. Why do we even put a mask? because reality is harder than what we thought it would be. Why do we need a mask? because mask makes us feel safe, better and become someone we are not (but we want to be that someone). Why do we like to put on a mask? because a mask hide our real beasts, we don’t like when other people see our beast, we just want them to see the “beauty” of us.

Why don’t we take the mask off? because it is easier to act, to hide, to pretend than to be real, honest and true to other people even to ourselves. Because we are trained to wear the mask and by the time we put the mask on, we know what to do, it has the magic power to move our hands, eyes, mouth, feet. We become an actor in our own movie of LIFE.

Is it true when they said that God is the director of life and we are all the actors playing our roles or is it us who is the director and the actor at the same time? We want God in our life, but we want him as the camera man, or as the producer, but hey..we want the director, screen writer, actors to be us.

Men think that we are the master of our own life, we can just hide in our mask and play the role.

But, men never expected the role becomes so hard to keep you with and the mask starting to become irritated, weary, old and melting. The true color of our faces are staring to comes out, whether we like it or not, the mask will disappear. The acting job will retired sooner or later. It is just the matter of time. How and when, it is not my job to tell you.

Stop wearing a mask and start living your life. Stay true to yourself and to other people. We cannot live without knowing that there is someone greater than us, someone stronger than us, someone who will receive us just the way we are, someone who knows and sees beyond the mask. That someone is God and He doesn’t want us to waste our time pretending we are living the life. He doesn’t want us to let other people determined what is cool and what is not. He doesn’t want us to let the world shape our faith or views. He doesn’t want us to play role like a robot. He wants us to seek Him, understand Him and ask Him about everything and anything.

After all, we all gonna die anyway. I don’t know about you, but I do not wanna take off my mask when I die. It will be sucks. I want to take it off now, give that mask to God and start living myself being the one that God wants me to be, not what the world wants me to be, or even what I want me to be.

I am limited and so are you, but God is unlimited!

xoxo,

Lindsay

My thought of the night

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If there is a moment in your life that u really wanna live forever. 

What would it be? 

Would it be the same? 

Would it be forever? 

Would it be eternal?

If there are times in life that u wished u can change. 

What would it be? 

Would it be better or maybe even worst? 

Would it be you or would it be me?

Life, 

Is it a journey or is it a matter of God’s mystery? 

What if there is no God? 

Would it be a life? 

What if there is no mystery of life?

Would it be a story of journey? 

Maybe it is all remain a big mystery of life itself.

When we are on top of our happiness, 

Would it be a tears or a laughter?? 

Would it be a silent dancing?

 Would it be a crying heart with no tears in it?

WHY?

Because there is just a small line between tears and laughter. 

They are both folded in our memory of either the greatest moment of the century 

or 

the broken arrow of your dream that faded away..

silent..

and disappear 

between your heart and mind.

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Nobody sees the future but God,

Nobody can created his own life but God, 

When all seems dark..no end..no one there..look up..,

There is always hope in your lost treasure of life. 

That’s right!

The lost hope is the hidden treasure of life, 

It keeps u moving even when things faded away,

Hope is the eyes of the future folded with your faith.

xoxo,

~Lindsay~

My Quotes :)

THESE ARE ALL MY OWN QUOTES! IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE IT, PLEASE QUOTE IT USING MY NAME  AND LINK IT BACK TO THIS POST. 

“When you think this is the end of it all, it might just be a new beginning of another great season in life”

“When you think that you are strong, be careful, because you probably are in your weakest point of life. But you will never measure how strong you really are until you are in your deepest weaknesses”

“Life happens only once, but forgiveness happens all the time”

“Life is just a journey that full of season and times, the end of it is just a beginning of the real season of eternity”

“When you think that God leaves you, He is even closer than your own breath”

“Treasures will be gone. Seasons will all be past. Life will come to an end, but what’s done for God will last”

“Dont walk in a road that seem right, walk in a road that you can see where it ends”

“You will never feel poor if you live richly with God”

“An honest man walk without fear. He will walk wih pride and integrity. He might be lost his life beacuse of his own principles of life ,but he will gain victory in every generation after him”

“The first place to start your honesty is to be honest to yourself”

“The hardest battle in your life is to fight your own flesh”

“The wise man always thing ahead, while their enemies think they will win the lost war”

“A nation that stand strong is a nation of prayer”

“It is never too late to make a decision, but second chance is golden than the first one”

“When you think you know somebody, you only see what they want you to see. Knowing somebody is to let them see the real you”

“When you judge others, you just put your own punishment on your head”

“When you love your enemy, you just won your hardest battle. To make peace is to make love with hatred”

“To forgive someone who hurt you is to make peace with yourself”

“A friend is someone who stays when you are weak and be your strength. A fake friend is someone who stays when you are strong and take the last breath of your weaknesses”

“To live is to experience life. To hope is to experience faith. To love is to experience God”

“The biggest failure in life is when you gives up hope”

“A wise woman prepare for the worst time, while other women just enjoy the preparation itself and never be prepare until it’s too late”

“Comfort words in time of needs is better than gold. Wise action is better than power without control”

“To have faith is to hold onto something beyond your power. To hope is to have a confident to live for tomorrow will be better than today. To love is to kiss God’s face, feel His heartbeat and touch His throne”

“A soldier who die for his country is a soldier who won his battle and gain lives of freedom for his next generation”

“To protect is to serve. To serve is to gain. To gain is to sacrifices. To sacrifices is to win”

“The pure beauty is to look deep inside your heart and find no evil. Spending time with the devil is to lose God’s blessing”

“Your heart is your judge.Your mind is your counsel. Your action is your case”

“When problem comes and trouble arises, don't ask WHY, don't RUN from it but deal it ..face it..and say..WHAT’S NEXT??”

“Dont waste your time to fight something that is already been defeated”

“A loser thinks,he is a winner. A winner thinks,he has conquer the day”

“Courage makes your head up, it’s uplifting your deepest ego, it makes you see more of either a victory you had or even the most terrible tragedy in life"

“Success is not about the result, it is about how you do it, if at the end it turns out not the way you expect it to be, the important part is you do the BEST you can, that is success”

“Honesty is a part of your heart’s reflection”

“You never know what LOVE is until you face it, fight it..and lost it”

“What you see is not always what you get.What you sow is what you get”

“Every wrong action starts with a wrong decision”

“Victory is not about win or lose. Victory is about how you solve your biggest battle in life and not doing the same mistake twice”

“When you think you have gained something big in life, it probably just a small piece of life. You will gain something big when you are done in this world, see your Creator smile and said, "IT IS FINISH", for one man’s life will soon be past, what is done for God will last forever….”

“You think you know somebody, but you will never know somebody until you UNDERSTAND yourself first. You will not gained trust from others, until you trust yourself”

“Love is NOT blind, you will have to SEE to know what love is really all about”

“You can run but cant hide from God’s calling,because He will keep find you and bring you back to where u failed and hide and He will make you start over again, only this time you will not fail again”

“The only way to return when you lost, is to walk back from where you have started it and change the second step”

THESE ARE ALL MY OWN QUOTES! IF YOU ARE GOING USE IT, PLEASE LINK IT BACK TO THIS POST. 

XOXO,

LINDSAY

Your Eyes

~Your Eyes~

When I look into your eyes,

There are a lot than words can say,

There are a lot than heart can cry for,

I see words deep inside your eyes.

A word of LOVE,

God, there is so much love inside your eyes,

a hidden love for years,

a beautiful love songs written all over your eyes,

the hurt that makes it more to love,

a love that waiting for someone to finally see it and have it all …,

A word of PASSION,

passion for life and what you can give for life,

passion for things that inspire you,

things that you love and things that you hate,

a passion for change and beyond life itself..,

A word of HOPE,

hope for all your dreams and desires,

a dream that you always have,

a desire that you always keep in heart,

a hope for something that you are afraid to hope for all this time…,

A word of LOSING,

so much pain inside your beautiful eyes ..,

pain of losing your dreams,

pain of losing the most precious thing in your life,

pain of losing someone you love,

pain of losing hope in something that you used to believe in,

pain of what life have caused you…,

A word of TRAPPED,

trapped in a place that you hate,

trapped in a hole that you have been crying for to get you out from there,

trapped between life and death,

trapped between love,honesty,and pain…

A word of CHANCE,

chance to make your dreams come true,

chance to have all that you always long for,

chance to trust again.

chance to love again,

and chance to be love completely again by someone,

A word of HAPPINESS,

like a deer longing for a river to drink the water,

your eyes shows so much affection for life,

your eyes shows how much you longing for a true happiness

a happiness that is pure and simple,

that you always thought life never offered you

while you know you deserve it..,

A word of COMFORTER,

U always give what is best from you,

U always cheer people up,

U always be a blanket that warmeth the coldest heart,

U are a smile..and a comforter..

A word of LIFE,

so much in your eyes speaks about life,

the good and bad sides of life itself,

and how life treated you in his way,

but I think this time,

life will treat you differently,

and this time baby..

life is on your side!

xoxo

lindsay

I am recklessly abandon for God

I am recklessly abandon for God!

How many times do we said “I live to worship YOU oh God”. How many times do we cry in God’s presence. How many times do we say “I love You God with all that I am.”

QUESTION: HOW MANY TIME DID WE FAIL TO FULFILLED OUR OWN WORDS?

Its only because of God’s own mercy and grace that makes me who I am today. I am here is all because of God’s own just and love. I dont know why He chose me, call me and honor me to be His own child, His own servant.

QUESTION: WHAT HAVE I DONE FOR MY GOD?

It breaks my heart to see the world, it breaks my heart to see the lost souls, it breaks my heart to see people are going crazy just to find the true meaning of LOVE. What they dont know is that in order to find the love, you will have to find LOVE itself. There is no other word to describe God in one word than the word LOVE itself. Even hough there are many other words to describe HIM and then we come to this point when we cant describe Him anymore. Because He is THAT awesome that even words will not be able to describe who He is and what He is.

QUESTION: HOW DO WE KNOW WHO AND WHAT GOD IS ABOUT?

By having a relationship with Him through His words and praying. Many times in my life when all I have is only FAITH, like literally only FAITH. I don't have anybody or anything that could help me out BUT my faith to God. 

There are so many times in life, when I complained about how hard life is and how other people is so “happy” with their own lives and I kinda jealous of some of them. But then God is so patient of molding me and teaching me how to face every obstacles. 

Many times in our lives when its all darkness around us, when life is hard and the burden is heavy. Those are the times when God loves us the most, HUH??. Weird, funny, not logical we might think. If God loves us THAT much then why this is all happening to me or to the people I love? But do you know that many times we put ourselves in those situations, its NOT God but us! 

God is rescuing us from our own disasters and tragedy.

Its hard to praise God when nothing seems good and well. Its easier to praise Him when everything is provided for us. But then I know with all my heart that God is and will never abandon me. Sometimes when we feel we are strong,those are the times when we actually weak.

Lord Jesus, from the day I was born, You were there with me. Until this moment I know You are here with me. Teach me to walk with Your guidance according to Your will. For I am living for You and You alone. 

If my nothing can bring glory to others then use that because I know that YOU have and are everything I need to complete my nothing. I am just a pencil, YOU write me. I am just a blank paper and You wrote my life’s story with Your own hands. 

I am just a wind waiting for Your direction to go. I am just a tool in Your own storage, but You take good care of me and fix me when Im broken. 

I am here because of You, I live just for You. I know this life is short and one day I will see You face to face. On that glorious day..oh Lord..do not pass me, do not forget me and do not pass nor forget my families and friends and those names that I have been praying for. 

Hear my cry my Lord, my Father and my everything.

I was a sinner saved by the grace of my Lord. I am not worthy but He who is GREATER than me makes me worthy for His own pleasure. He takes ALL the glory and credit for everything I do for HIM because I am just His servant.

I am RECKLESSLY ABANDON FOR HIM!!

“O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me” (Psalm 25:2)

“Everything we do is just a drop in the ocean,but if we dont do that, then that drop will be missing forever” (Mother Teresa)

xoxo,

Lindsay 

I am yours

I was praying the other night and I said “well Lord, I am yours so let your will be done.” It sounds like an easy cry of help, like a total surrender, but then I think again of the words “I AM YOURS” and its not just a song or a cry for help or a total surrender.

I AM YOURS also means the bond of ownership that God has for us.

When we received Jesus as our own Lord and Savior, salvation is ours and from that moment, we belong to him. He OWNS us! Understand that when someone owns us, it means we are theirs forever and they can do things for us and those things will not always be easy, there will be discipline, task requirements, jobs, dateline, reward, field days, picnic days, sick days, etc.

I have a dog, that makes me a dog owner. In here (US) when you own a dog, it is just like having a baby and its hard. But I am the owner, on the day I purchased Luke, he become MINE, there is an ownership relation to it. He is no longer on his own, I am his owner. I must make sure he has enough foods, water, exercise, immunization, friends, toys, shelter, etc. He is under my responsibility and at the same time, Luke must obey me. There will be other dogs that i will not let him play with because they are vicious or crazy dogs lol. There will be times when I have to put him in his cage because I am working to provide for him or because he did something bad and I want him to learn his lesson, etc.

It might seem silly that I make that as an example of ownership. But see, with God is the same thing. He owns my life. He purchased me with His blood. He is my owner and He has every right to do whatever He thinks is good for and to me.

The problem is so many times, we forget that He owns us and we still treat God as if He is our security, our maid and our bank. When we can come anytime ,ask for help, but when He is trying to help us His ways, we reject it! (well some of it LOL).

 We just want our rights but do not want to do our obligation.

Obedient is one word to describe our relationship with God. I will say that obedient is Christianity in one word. How can we show God that we love Him? By obeying His words. How can we serve God? obey, how can we make the right decision? obey. Obedient is also works for ownership, when we own someone or something, we want that someone to obey us, because its an ownership relationship, there has to be a team work and obedient is a part of it.

I do realize how big it is to be His own. Its an honor and a blessing beyond words for me and my family. I try to count my blessing and I lost track, because there are so many things in my life that God has blessed and there are still more to come. I do my part to trust Him and obey Him and He always do his part. He is the best owner EVER!

xoxo,

Lindsay

BEAUTY

Men and women have their own definition of beauty.

Men thinks that beauty lays in perfection of a machine, a great invention of video game, cool cars, amazing gadgets. A perfect goal for soccer or home run like Babe Ruth, a touchdown in football or just a greasy cheesy pizza with pepperoni and sausage, they calls it “beauty.”

Women thinks beauty related to skin, face, make up, dress, clean house, etc. Men sees a supermodel and said “she is hot” and women sees a supermodel and said “she is beautiful” lol.

Its like a totally different visual realization. But there are some things or occasion when both men and women can say “its such a beauty." Just like their own daughters, sunset, great capture of photography, a natural scene like lake or ocean or mountain, etc

What is beauty? People said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Is it just a phrase to make ourselves feels good or is it really proven that way? LOL. I would say both! Sometimes we said things just to make us feel better or feel good about certain things, and sometimes because that is the fact.

Beauty can be anything and about everything.

Beauty, some people said its a blessing and others said its a curse. I don't see beauty as a curse though, its how you see yourself. Its a certain thing that makes it has the value of beauty. Even if you are beautiful and drop dead gorgeous but nobody sees that or says that and you are too blind too see that in you, then beauty has no meaning at all, its just like a pretty mannequin in a store. Its pretty, ts sexy, clothes fits perfectly, make up here and there, people stares at them but they dont have a life within themselves, its dead. Beauty but dead and then one day will be trashed.

Everyone has their own beauty. Either its their eyes, nose, shoulder, belly, lips, eye lashes, legs, hands, hair, skin, nails, voice, heart, brain (list goes on). You just have to discover your own beauty and be proud of it, not hiding it. Some even denied that you have the IT factor of beauty in you. Learn to appreciate your own beauty and if you find something in you that you don't think as a beauty, then work on it to make it such a beauty :)

Nothing cannot be done if you are willing to do the work. What seems impossible for you might not be that impossible once you try it the possible way. Beauty is just a word, the actual meaning of beauty lays on your own heart and eyes.

How you see yourself or others and certain things, then when you totally loving it, can't have enough of it, admiring it, perfectly fine with its imperfection, have confidence in it, want to do more with it, flirt with it, style it, talk about it, see it with your eyes open, and smiling heart,

now that's..

beauty.

xoxo,

Lindsay

Sometimes the beginning of great things are not that great

Getting out of the most comfortable box in your life and move to something new, something unexpected and something you know will make you go crazy for a while is hard to do.

My life in a transition phase and its not that I am worry, its just that I hope we could start everything fresh.

I am still learning to do God’s will and trying to trust Him at ALL times. Its hard to do but I am trying to do it. So many times it is so easy to do God’s will but many times its not that easy, especially when you really like your life now and He wants you to move on.

I always remember Pastor Miles McPherson's words,when God wanted him to start his own church. He was one of the Pastor in Horizon Church, one of the big church in San Diego. God simply said to him “Its time to go." He didn't have anything at that time, well not that much to start a church of his own. But look at him now, his church (The Rock Church in San Diego) is one of the most influential, blessed and it is growing so fast into a big fruitful church.

Horizon and The Rock Church are still in a great relationship until now. The beauty of fulfilling God's calling is love. The ministries are awesome, the people are amazing, its the BEST church I have ever attended (trust me I have been all over lol). Its all started with “Its time to go” and trusting God for the rest.

Its kinda cool when you heard it from someone else's experiences and you saw the result. But whats not too cool is the beginning before all of that big puzzles shows its great thing.

The beginning of every great thing is not always easy or fun or great as it is now.

As for now, I am preparing to leave my comfort zone if thats what it takes to make me see the big puzzle. I am just trying to live my life and be obedient to the one who created me. I owe him my life. I dont wanna be dead and do nothing for Him because I was too comfortable with my own life and forgot or chose not to do His will for other people through me. I live to bless others as well and I live to impact others in a good way.

I sometimes surprises to see so many people who called themselves Christians and all they do is just pleasing themselves. They treating God as a servant who must bless them and only them. Money is not always God’s way to bless you, sometimes tragedy can turns into blessing. Look at His own dead on the cross for us, wasn't that such a "tragedy" of life? But he turned that tragedy into blessing, which is our salvation! Some sad stories in your life, some “tragedies” in your life, breaking up with a boyfriend, death of someone dearest, sick, unemployed, etc.

All the not so fun kicked in life, but it turns into s great lesson for life itself. Its actually makes you even stronger and do better in life, now that's tragedy into blessings! That's water into wine, that's death into eternal life. Not all great things started with great things as well. Sometimes it takes not so great things to exist in order to make it greater than before.

xoxo,

Lindsay

Happiness is when my heart is smiling

I have been thinking about it lately, what is it that makes you happy in life? Is it your family, friends, faith, fame, success, beauty, money, hobby?!?!

There are tons of list qualified as happiness. But how often is it in your life that you started to think that “This is not enough to make me happy?” or “I am not happy” or “I have everything but I am not happy?”

There are some people who have everything, from loving family to success and money is not a problem but she still say “I am not happy”. Another example is a wonderful man with a great family, faith and success in life, married to the best woman, but still say “I am not happy?"

There are the average people who don’t have enough money, living from paycheck to paycheck with hard working jobs, extra hours of works, no family, no friends and still say “I am happy?"

What I meant is what makes one person happy? Is it a thing, a person, a circumstances or is happiness just a word of certain occasion?. Is happiness a decision of heart? Is it a choice that we need to take in order to feel it, to satisfy, to understand the word happiness itself?

Money cant buy love, true, but I am happy when I can buy stuff I love LOL. Money cant but love but money can move people to love something or someone. Money cant buy happiness but money does make you happy in certain ways in life.

Happiness is a word and you need to chose to either be happy or not, its as simple as that. But does the real happiness exist in life or is it just occasionally appear?

Is it really forever kinda thing or is it just temporary?

Does happiness cant be found in a person, thing, money or hobby?

Does happiness means everywhere and in everything, but we are too blind or too numb to even think of the word HAPPINESS? or Too tired to even try to be happy?!

So many times I chose to be happy but the fact is I am not happy. But for how long can we survive to make the same decision?. Sooner or later we will realize what happiness is all about. Sometimes we are too afraid to admit that we are not happy, because we are afraid of the thought or the fact that we might losing someone or something important in life. For example, how many women who are in an abusive relationship and still say “I am happy as long as he is with me?” or how many people who are sick of their job and still say “I am happy as long as I get a job?”

Those are not happiness, those are the status of desperation and denial and use the mask of happiness. But then again, who am I to say so? They might FEEL happy and I just have a different dictionary of happiness :)

For me..happiness is when I am surrounded by people I love without having to worry about tomorrow. A situation when my heart is smiling and my face is rejoicing.

Happiness is when my heart is smiling! 

Yap!! I just found my definition of happiness. Just now and from now on, its my trademark “happiness is when my heart is smiling!"

xoxo,

Lindsay

Meant To Be? Before You Say, "I do".

Meant to be??

So many times we heard “in love” people or “in a relationship.” People are talking or saying to other people or to each other that they are “Meant to be”. But then they broke up or getting a divorce and all the nasty words start coming out.

I remember watching an episode in Everybody loves Raymond. I love that show LOL *hate me or love me*. Anyway, in that episode, Robert (Ray’s big brother) was confused because he has three girls to choose. One was his ex wife, one is his current on and off again girlfriend and the last one is a hot fling he met in Italy.

Robert told Ray and Frank, his dad, he decided to tell Amy that she is the one. He wanted to tell Amy that they are “Meant to be.” Now the reason he wanna tell Amy that they are meant to be is because he has two other choices but he CHOSE her to be with him. But then when he told Amy that story, they broke up. Wow! too much for honesty huh ;)

Amy sees Robert’s confession as something hurtful, she hated him for having another thought about their relationship. While Robert sees that as a “Meant to be” moment of truth. In other word, whatever and whoever you will meet in life ,if you are meant to be with that one person, your heart will comeback to that specific person.

What is meant to be means for you?

People said that God provides soul mates, but then the question is “Why then there is a divorce, if that’s from God?” or “If they got remarried, which one is THE soul mate?” and there are other people who said that soul mate is your choice, your decision, you live with it.

I, personally, think that God arranged the meeting, but at the end, it is up to us to chose or decide who we wanted. Lets face it, how many people are having a situation like Robert in that movie? You have to chose from three different people who have their own strength and weaknesses and we have to choose which one that we like the most.

Some people chose it according to their physical appearance, some chose it because of their brain capacity, their attitude, their skill, their talent, their money, fame, character, etc. But the main thing is “WE chose” or for some cases, other people chose it for other people just like the story of Siti Nurbaya or some ethnic people who chose someone to partner up with others.

In other word, God did not show up and push that person to love this person. Instead He let us meet them all and He wants us to decide, to see, to think ,to experience what love is all about and make a decision based on whats your heart and brain is telling you.

God wants us to be a responsible human being, not a controlled robot.

God does not created us to be like a robot where everything is programmed and we must act like that, even though it might be better if He did, so that we wont do mistakes? *joke*. But then here comes freewill, we all have our own decision to make. Just make sure we make that freewill with a responsible heart and attitude.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that God doesn’t have any role in “soul mate” or marriage. In fact He loves marriage, He created the idea of marriage (church and Christ is the example). He honors marriage so do not get confuse with it. But, I still think that the decision is ours to make.

People said that divorce comes up because people are giving up or they chose the wrong one. Now if they chose the wrong one it means the “right” one is missing his soul mate and he will be married with the “wrong” one, etc, and this world is gonna be a madness of people who get dump, divorce and hurtful family because the mom and dad lost their soul mate on the way to their wedding altar..gosh!

Now…I do believe that I met my husband for a reason at the right time and God allowed me to meet him. God give me the gift to love and to chose. My husband chose to ask me to marry him, its a question that we need to answer and the answer could be yes or no.

So get this : God is not the one who answer that question, we are, and that is why we need to be really careful answering this question.

Seek God to guide you to chose, understand your own heart and brain why would you wanna say yes to this man for forever. This is not just an episode like in the “Sex n The City”. It is not just a two hours movie of  “The Notebook”. It is not just a thick novel of “Romeo and Juliet”. It is not just a fairy tale of “Cinderella”.

This is real life and YOU will be the one who is doing and will be living it up. Don't get caught up in the moment and say yes for the sake of lust, money, fame, temporary fling, sex, age, status, etc.

Say yes because you wanted to spend forever with that person. Say yes because you know that you cant live without that person. Say yes because you are willing to sacrifice your life for that person. Say yes because you know that person is the right one to take care of you and your kids. Say yes because you know that the person you see is yours not belong other people (their wife/husband). Say yes because you feel it is the right answer to the question. Say yes because you are ready to commit to this person only for the rest of your life.

Say yes because you are ready to live a forever life with this one person only.

Do not blame God or other people if you made a wrong mistake, pray about it, deal with it, ask for help,  fix it and move on. Some things cannot be fixed ,this I know, but you can still moving on with your life. Before you agree on something, before you say “I do”, think everything about it, think the impact of your answer to your life.

God NEVER make any mistake, we do.

Yes God will be with us, yes God will help us, yes God will do this and that for us, if we LET him play that role in our lives and just like any great parents ,God will also let us make decisions for our lives. If you know that certain things are wrong and not good for you from the beginning, then it is not from God. Do not jump into that relationship!

At the end we chose how to live our lives, we made the final decision. Be responsible and deal with your decision. Don’t blame God for things that we did, stuff and person that we chose.

We live, we chose, we learn and we move on..its surviving 101 :)

xoxo,

Lindsay *2008*

San Francisco

Home with Luke

The "Dexter" Syndrome.

Anyone watch DEXTER on Showtime?

Dexter is an American television drama series based on the novel Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay and adapted for television by Emmy Award-winning screenwriter James Manos, Jr., who wrote the pilot episode. Set and produced in Miami, the series centers on Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall), a serial killer who works for the Miami Metro Police Department as a blood spatter analyst.

Dexter basically is a man with a troubled past. He saw his mom murdered when he was 3 years old. A police officer, Harry, adopted him because it was his fault Dex’s mom got killed. He was suppose to protected her because she is an informant for the police regarding a drug dealer cases, but he failed, then he adopted Dexter. Dex grew up and become a very smart man, but he has a dark side, he is a sociopath.

He likes to kill people, not just a regular killing, but a thoughtful clean ones. He killed only criminals or “people who deserves it”. An interesting fact is that Dexter works for the Police Dept. as a blood spatter analyst LOL. The only one who know about his secret was his brother, who is also a cold blooded killer, but he died. Dexter killed him!

Basically, Dexter is a very controversial series because it is a great story, but it is also a very brutal one. In a way it promotes Dexter as a “hero” or should I say a superhero for a modern life. Here are the facts : Dexter became a sociopath who is also a blood thirst killer because he was traumatized since he was 3 years old. Saw his mom murdered and sitting inside that place with a flood of blood. He loves people who obey the rules but hates those who breaks it. BUT, does it mean that he could kill any criminals and get away with it? Does it mean that one can take anyone’s life and consider it pays the “debt” they owe to the society?.

Yes, it was a very interesting movie, a good one I should add. But it is also a kind of movie that makes us “love” the evil. We kinda want Dexter to get away because he is the main character in that series and he is the “hero”. The one that we like, the one that we feel pity for,the one who killed criminals, the one who makes the story fun to watch. But at the same time, inside your heart, you know that he is wrong. He is as sick as the people he killed. He is a lost soul who blamed his past and hide in his monster’s mask. He doesnt wanna get heal, he doesnt wanna stop doing the killing, he loves the it. The only thing that keeps him to kill everyone is his “human” side. His human side still have feelings toward the innocent people. But, he wants to satisfy his addiction by killing. The question is who can I kill? the bad people, the criminals!

Is he a hero because he killed criminals and made the world a better place? Does he making a difference in people’s life by killing those criminals? For whatever reason, he doesnt have any right to kill anyone.

But why do we love dexter? is it because he is the main character in that series or is it because the devil wants us to see it as “good”? It's almost like watching a movie and says “the good side of Hittler” or “a good side of Al Capone." Of course people has a lil splash of good side no matter how bad they are. But does it mean we just see the good and forget about the bad sides, or does it mean we are in denial?. We know he is bad but hey lets see if he has something good left.

What if there is no good side of somebody? Can someone has nothing but evil in his life or we are just too blind to see it?

People said that some people are not human at all. But they are human, might be trapped or lost, but still a human. Why do people kill? Many reason! But that is not the answer or the right question in this case. What should we do to prevent it? Can we prevent killing?. Even in a country where killers are punished in a very brutal way, people still kills.

Why does Dexter wanted to put other people in line to cover up his act? Is he a coward, or is it because he doesnt wanna be the “bad” person?. Does it because he still wants to kill? selfish? or maybe he is just a human just like the rest of us who tried to do anything we can to survive life.

In his world, he needs to put others on his spot in exchange of his own freedom, its a jungle law, kill or be killed!

I am not just talking about Dexter but also about all of us. There is a dark side in all of us, an animal side in us. 

What keeps us human?

What keeps us sane in this insane world? What makes us different than Dexter?

We all express our hate, love and justice in a different way. Dexter express it through his brutal killing. We express it by yelling or being quiet, but we EXPRESSED it. We let people know what we feel, even for those who says they dont have feelings at all. They still expressed their feelings by their action. Dexter is not your average boy next door. He is different, he said he has no feeling or cant feel anything, but does he telling the truth?.

Killing is expressing his feeling. What do we get from his killing? An expression of something powerful inside his heart, something strong, unforgiving and cold. An expression of someone who hates life because he lost it when he was a kid. An expression of someone who wants justice and take it into his own hands. An expression of a lost soul who wants to see good but doesn't know what good is all about. An expression of someone who is very angry at happiness because he never had any. A screaming for help but no one can hear it.

If you look really close at this case, you will see a hole and that hole is empty. Because no one can reach to that hole. If he let other to reach that hole, the other party must be God. Because human is not perfect in his eyes, because he is a human being and he knows what human could do to others. He needs something or someone bigger than human, a power beyond his own.

xoxo,

Lindsay

Images are taken from google

Be Content

One of my favorite verse in the Bible was “Your grace is sufficient for me” How can we get to that point when God’s grace must be enough for us,it is not an easy thing to understand especially to practice it and really, I mean literally be sufficient with it.

God’s grace, what is grace? For me, grace means an action of true love. Grace means I don’t deserve it but I get it anyway. God’s grace is my salvation. God’s blessings are myself,my family, friends, job, money, everything that I have in my life until the day I die are BLESSINGS.

So many time people wants the blessing but forget about the grace itself is actually more than enough for us. 

Blessing is one of the benefit we get, but grace is more than benefit, grace is something you dont deserve but you get it. Picture this story, a man who is on death row and then someone replace his place in that death row. That man on the death row is us and the replacement is Jesus. We are sinners, none of us are sin free, without God’s love there will be no grace and mercy.

Be content. Its easy to say it than doing it. Its hard to be content because it is in our nature as a human to always want something more in life. We have a Honda, we want a Jaguar, we have a jaguar 2003, then we want the 2007 one. We have $500 then we want $10000. We buy the cute yellow dress and yet we still want the cute pink dress with the purse,etc. The point is human will never be satisfied, no matter how rich, beautiful or powerful they might get. There is always a hole in their life to be “more.”

Why is that? why is it so hard for God to please human than it is to please his other creation? Animals will be happy when they have food. Human won't be happy with just food, we need clothes, houses, companions, blah blah blah!

Is it because human is God’s number one creature, His favorite, His everything and that makes us spoil compare to the other creation of His?

To be content is something that wont happen overnight. It needs trials, errors, learning, and moving on. It takes time and not everyone gets it or should I say learn to be content. I do believe that to be content is a process of learning, not everyone gets it, not everyone wants it even though they know that content can bring a huge satisfaction for their life.

You dont need to buy tons of self improvement books to make you successful. You dont need a shrink to make you feel better about yourself. You dont need anyone to tell you that you are beautiful. You need to love yourself and your life.

I know its not easy, trust me..I know! But here is the secret, once we accepted our life, it will be easier to love life. By loving it, we make progress in our lives, little by little we will be able to conquer our lives. One step at a time and one day, you will be able to understand and learning to be content. Simply because nobody will ever get anything they want in life.

If we do not learn to be content, life maybe be such a dissapointed journey, life might feel boring, life may be a failure.

By being content doesnt mean we dont have to do anything in life. Being content means you love your life no matter what because there is more in life than just me, myself and I.

Being content means I am happy regardless of my situation, being content means we are mature enough to face our future. You will never be happy in your life until you understand the meaning of being content!

Why would I write about being content? Because in today’s world, we have seen heard and experienced the things we have done or said just because we dont know what the word content is all about.

How many people working so hard and they dont even have time for their family? One of the most important thing in life is family. How many people dying to be thin because they dont feel good enough unless they are thin. How many people lost the people they love because they are not rich enough for them? How many people fight with each other because they want more power? We know it yet we are still letting ourselves down by KEEP doing it.

Again, being content doesn't mean you don't have to do anything, but learn to love yourself, your life, there is no greater gift than life itself. 

Being content means we are thankful for what we have, no matter how small or big that is. When we learn to be content, we will have a happy life, not a problem free life but a happier life even when things goes the other way.

Nothing that we need more in life than life itself. What would be greater than the air we breath? You could have billions of dollars, you still can't buy your breath.

How do we learn to be content? Everyday life!

Look at the people around you, look at what you have in life, look how far you are going in life. Stop and smell the roses, you might be surprise to see little thing is actually what matters most, you will be surprise how a smile can change a world.

Be thankful with what you have is a first step to be content. Be happy with your life! Enjoy what you have, live your life to the fullest. Of course we will always want more in life, but set your priority in life. Once you understand the whole idea of life, you will be able to live it with contenment.

Being content is an act of the heart, not to surrender to your situation but to surrender to God. If we believe that God is the God ,Lord and savior of our lives, we will be able to surrender.

Being content is a choice, you either choose to love your life or not. If there is something you dont like about yourself or life, then do something to change it. But always have the mindset of being content.

Instead of complaining of being fat, why dont you workout and eat right?. Instead of being jealous of someone else career, why dont you go to school and have your own career? Instead of blaming God for your life, why dont you do something to make it better and so on.

So, once you love your life, yourself and understand that there is better and greater things than just your own situation,you will learn to be content. Don't get stuck just thinking of how to please yourself. Learn to please other people, don't get stuck of working to earn money, try working for fun or working to help other people.

Your point of view about life might changed once you step out of your little box called “my small world = myself, my problem.”

OK..I am still learning to be content as well, like I told you guys, its not easy. Thats why I wrote the blog, because I got a clearer picture when I wrote things down. When I write there are a lot of insipiration comes to the brain, I wrote and I learn as well.

My conclusion of being content is to be thankful for what we have, to be responsible for what we have, and to understand that we are not the only one with problems. There are a lot of people who are less fortunate than us. Life isnt just about me and my needs and yes knowing that GOD’S GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR ME.

(All Images Are Taken From www.google.com)

As long as I have grace, I have a great life.

xoxo,

LIndsay