Since You've Been Gone

October 21st 1991

That was the first time in my life that I have to experienced losing someone close to me. It was the day my grandpa, Johhny Henry, died. I was 10 years old and I was very close to him. I spent most of my after school days visiting him and accompanied him. He died in a hospital bed and I was there. I was watching every single pain he had until he closed his eyes. Then, he was gone, forever.

Johnny Henry Pussung

It was a very tough time for me. 10 years earlier, I lost my grandma to heart attack. But, I was only 1 years old at that time. This time was different, because I was 10 years old and I was very close to him. I was close to both of my grandfathers. Johnny Henry is my grandpa from my dad's side. I forever love him and miss him.

June 14th 2001

That was 10 years ago today. It was the day I lost my other grandpa that I love dearly, Robert Messach. He was one of my hero in life. He taught me so much about integrity, honesty, compassion and he had such a big heart. He is loved and respected by many. It was such a hard day because I spent my whole life with him. I also took care of him until the day he died. I still remember that day very clear in my head. I was leaving to visit my uncle and he was on his bed and smiling at me. He said, "Hey, can you buy me some Silver Queen's Chocolate?" and that was the last words he said to me before I left.


I was in one of the mall in Jakarta, Indonesia, when I received a phone call from my mom. She said that grandpa fell on the bathroom's floor and he is in coma. I remember taking the bus back to my uncle's house. It was the longest, most painful day of my life. I kept thinking of everything he has done for my family. His voice asking me to bring him his chocolate was inside my head, over and over again. It was too soon and too sudden for me. 

WHY, GOD?!

I arrived at my uncle Roy's house and then they took me to Bintaro International Hospital. Grandpa was laying there, in coma. I heard all the machine that support his life beeping and beeping. I looked at him and he look so peaceful. I cried and there were silent. I did not know what to do, but prayed. My grandpa was the strongest man alive. He was in the ARMY, he was active in Karate. He was an athlete and a coach. He was an inspiration to many people. He was the political advisor to many great leaders in Indonesia. He was a hard working, honest and brilliant man. On that hospital bed, he was just an old man in coma. Helpless!

Robert Messach Kermite

He died and that was the hardest day of my life. But, at the same time I had peace in my heart. He died after he received Jesus Christ to be his Lord and Savior. That is more than any money could buy. 

He was created for God's own pleasure and he died in God's glory.

I asked God to let my grandpa live until at least 70 years old and He answered that. I asked God to allow my grandpa to be saved, and He answered that. My grandpa fell from stairs and he could not walk. He was in and out the hospital because of hepatitis and other complication in his body. But he was a fighter. He lived linger than what the doctors predicted. Then one day, he said he wanted to be baptized and so he did that. He also wanted to go to one of a church's service in Jakarta, Indonesia. In that service, they asked if anyone would want some healing prayer to come up front. So, my grandpa decided to go with his cane. He got up there, and he walked. Yes people, miracle happened. God is forever faithful and I am forever grateful to have my grandfathers in my life. They are my heroes and I will always love them, forever.

Gone but nor forgotten. Died but not in vain. Forever loved and missed! I love you grandpa J.H.P and I love you too, grandpa R.M.K

Until we meet again, in heaven!

xoxo,

Your favorite grand daughter

:)

♥ ♥ ♥

5 years of being a wife!

So, today is our 5th Anniversary and am so happy to be married to my husband. These are some pictures on our 1st to 5th Anniversary. We met in Chicago, married in San Diego and now we are living in San Francisco, CA.

JUNE 8TH 2006

JUNE 8th 2007

JUNE 8TH 2008

JUNE 8TH 2009

JUNE 8TH 2010

WE WENT TO INDONESIA. SPECIFICALLY, WE WENT TO BALI, MANADO, BITUNG, LEMBEH THEN JAKARTA, BANDUNG AND LEMBANG. NICE VACATION :)

JUNE 8 TH 2011

I LOVE THIS CARD. WAY TOO FUNNY!

SURPRISED ME WITH THIS IN MY BACKPACK THIS MORNING

AND THESE STUFF WERE HIDDEN ALL OVER THE HOUSE ;)

I WILL WRITE MORE TOMORROW. I WILL ALSO POST MORE PICTURES OF US. WE ARE GOING TO SPEND OUR ROMANTIC GETAWAY SOMEWHERE TROPICAL. I WILL LET Y'ALL KNOW WHEN THE DAY IS HERE. PRETTY SOON!

..FOREVER IS NOT JUST A WORD, ITS OUR LOVE. THIS LOVE IS AN ENDLESS JOURNEY AND IT IS THE LONGEST ONE IN OUR LIFE..

via google search

A heart shape Veggie Chips of mine ;)

I love this Veggie Chips from Trader Joe's and this is the picture I got from this website.

So, June 8th will be my 5 years anniversary. Look what I found in the bag of chip, a heart shape chip. Awwhh..so cute, isn't it? This is the picture of my perfect heart shape's chip. Thank you Trader Joe's. This made my day brighter :)

Sometimes, God has a weird sense of humor. Even in little things like this chip, I found a humor on it. I mean, come on, from thousands of chips that they sell in the world. I am the lucky one who got a PERFECT heart shape chip. Pretty cool huh?!

How is your Sunday, readers? I hope y'all have a perfect lovely day. Just like my heart shape chip ;)

LIFE IS A FUN RIDE, ENJOY IT ALONG THE WAY! LITTLE SURPRISES MIGHT MAKE YOU SEE LIFE DIFFERENTLY!



XOXO

Hot Button

YIKES!

Hot Button is something that elicits a strong emotional response or reaction. It is could also means a controversial subject or issue that is likely to arouse strong emotions.

Hot Button's issues could rise between one person to another. We are all human and we have different upbringing, background and values in life. Somehow, sometime, in our process to become who we are today. There are things that we have seen, experienced, learned, passed and moved on. But, there are things that are still lingering on our mind and heart that we still could not get it over with (or moved on). Its either something that we think we are right, wrong, could fix it, or still not decided what to do about it. It is also something that has an emotional connection to it, that makes us really sensitive about that issue. Some has one hot button and others has more than one. Which one are you?

Someone say that Life Is A Choice and I totally agree with this statement. Because I think that nobody deserve to live a life they wished to live, but the one who is living his or her own life. In life, we also have to interact with other people because we are a social creature. We will always need someone else to complete our survival on this earth. Even if you are the world's number 1 loner, you still need others to live. But, sometimes the closest people are those who always and often push the hot button in us.

Even though, we have been warning those people to stop talking about it or just simply shut up, they kept saying it. Over and over again, when they have a chance to open their mouth. I don't know why certain people thinks they have every right to say how to live other people's life. I also don't mean this as something bad. Sometimes, it is good to remind others to live their life for their own good. There is a different between helping them to be better and making them feeling bad about their lives. There is a different between an advice and an order. There is a different between sharing your feeling with them and pushing your own agenda attacking their feelings.

Sometimes just because you are a friend, neighbor or a family member, it doesn't give you any right to keep pushing the same button over and over again. Especially,when the person you are trying to "grill" warned you about it. When someone say, "I get it" or "Stop saying that" or simply just leave the room with an angry face on it. Then, you should get the point that they don't like to talk about that issue. I am not talking about teenager's going through that phase of their teenage life. I am talking about adults who thinks they have every right to dictate other adult how to live their life when it has been decided. When that other person you are trying to "grilled" already made up their mind about that issue, then STOP "suggesting" or saying it over and over again, like we are dumb. We get your point, but too bad, we decided to go our way. After all, this is my life!

How to deal with people who keep pushing your hot buttons?

Here are my advice :

1. Avoid them

2. Let them know how you feel about the issue, in a polite manner. If they still trying to make their agenda become yours, then do number 1.

3. Think about their advice, if you think you are not ready or theirs is not going to work for your life. Then, do it your own way. Have confidence in yourself!

4. Knowing that this is YOUR life and therefor other people must respect your decision. Again, if their advice is for your own good, then think about it.

We all need other people to survive in this world. But, if those people brings nothing but bad energy to your life, then find another friends. If that is a family member, then call or visit them on holidays only LOL.

I hope that those who are reading this posting understand that we were once in both side. We were on the side who pushed the hot button, we were also on the other side as the one who were being pushed. We all know what and how it feels like to be on both sides. Sometimes, just because you are older or related to someone, it doesn't give you FULL ACCESS to dictate their lives. People made their own choice and decision for their lives, respect that.

Sometimes silence is golden, you know. Keep asking the same question in a very disturbing, pushing and hurtful statement, is an insanity to expect a result you would want to see. If you think by keep pushing it, the other person will change their mind. Think again! You might just bought your own ticket to be an outsider in their lives.

Respect other people, even if it is your own child. Giving your advice is good, but that is it. No more pushing hot buttons. Which part of this is a sensitive issue for me?, that you don't understand? LOL!

Images Via Google

Have a great weekend readers. I know I will ;)

XOXO,

Lindsay

10 Little Things To Enjoy Life

I have been reading about people saying a hundred little things to enjoy life. Hundreds are not too "little" anymore, right?! Is it just me who thinks that anyone can have their own version of little things that we can do to enjoy life?. Everyone could and should have it. Tonight, I am going to share mine.

First of all, by little, I meant simple and enjoyable. But sometimes we forgot them as an enjoyable moment.

Here we go, 10 Little Things To Enjoy Life by ME!

1. Clean up your house. Cleaning can be a pain for some people, but I find it as an amazing therapy to reduce stress. Nothing beats a clean house with beautiful flowers on the vase, colorful art and the smell of a clean, fresh air. New decorations idea would be fun as well.

2. Read one book that you have been wanting to peek for months but too afraid to buy it, or simply don't have time to do it. Some of you might not find reading as "interesting", but I encourage you to do it. Just one book that caught your attention and read it!

3. Cook your favorite food. Trying new recipe could be fun as well. But, sometimes if you want to enjoy it, something that you love and knows very well, would be more enjoyable to do. Not to mention less time and less stress ;)

4. Take a walk around your neighborhood. You will be surprise of how a small little plant, the smell of wet grass or the color of one's house would make your day better.

5. Watch the sunset or sunrise if you are a morning person. It would be awesome if you live near the water, better view. There is a great healing in this activity.

6. Go see a movie, by yourself. No companion, just you and your choice of a movie (and snack). Having a house for yourself with your favorite guilty pleasure TV show would be awesome too.

7. Call an old friend that you haven't talk in ages.

8. Buy a new frame and hang some new pictures or paintings on the wall.

9. Drive around with no destination. Just drive with your favorite music in the car. Enjoy the moment and the miles you have passed.

10. Plan a vacation. People say that planning is stressful, but I find it entertaining and gives me something to look forward in the future. I am a beach gal, so I would looking forward for somewhere warmer, sunny, beach, good food and massage!

All Images Via Google

Thats it guys and gals! Hope you can enjoy little things in life that makes you happy.

Say, what are your version of "Little Things To Enjoy Life?" ;)

xoxo,

Lindsay

..Just Breathe..

The more you know someone, the more you know what to say or what not to say. What to do or not to do. When to say or do it! It is all about the two T's (TOPIC and TIME).

Today I was feeling like this :

It feels like one of those days when you are trying to save the world, your own world, and the world is turning against you. Somehow, we all have that sixth sense of kinda know when your day will be bad or good. Today, is one of those "sixth sense" day for me. I knew it was going to be a hard weird day and it was..urrghh..

The weather was just awful. That's a start, and work was overwhelmed. If you are a perfectionist and people pleaser, just like me, then you know how hard it is to be us! It is not easy to do everything the way it is suppose to be functioned. It is not easy to plan your life and do exactly just the way you planned it. It is even harder when it is failed, missed the target or one of those surprises that you did not want. Yeah, life happens!

So, the weather in San Francisco sucks today. Work was stressful. I just want to be home, soaking in a hot tub with my favorite music. I kinda feel listening to a singer like Adele today. I also need a good nutritious food for my overwork, overtired and overstressed body. I also need to watch some good TV show. I need to write my blog as well, which I did.

via

I complained a lot today huh? LOL!

When I am in this kinda mood, I try to stay away from talking to other people. Especially those that I hold dear in my heart. Why? Because today is a bad time to see me and a sensitive topic or issue would turn into a World War III. LOL.

As a human being, we have those moments in life when we just need to be alone and do our own thing. Stuff that makes us relax, happy thoughts and alone. Just you and for you moment. We need that.

I need a vacation. Far away from the city, crowded and stressful life.

Me at Four Season Resort,

Maui, Hawaii

I try to stay away from annoying people asking the same question and pushing the same hot buttons, over and over again. Sometimes, people just need to be left alone. Don't bother them. Let them live their life and take care of your own life. When someone don't answer your question, they either don't know the answer or they just don't think it is your business.

Sometimes life gives you no other option than what is available in front of you. Like it or not, want it or not, those are your options for today. Grab it and make it work. Tomorrow has its own troubles. If tomorrow comes, the troubles for today has gone as well. Let it be in the past. The body needs to rest, the mind needs to be at peace. Those work can wait, you need to just breathe and rest!

Think of your happy moments, think of tomorrow will be a better day.

BREATHE..and let go! 

Sleep well readers!

xoxo

Lindsay

Images: via

Arms That Hold The Universe

via

Arms That Hold The Universe

By. Fee

I know it seems like this could be the darkest day you’ve known

But believe you me, the God of strength will never let you go

He will overcome, I know

And the arms that hold the universe are holding you tonight

You can rest inside, it’s gonna be alright

And the voice that calmed the raging sea is calling you His child

So be still and know He’s in control

He will never let you go

Through many dangers, toils, and snares you have already come

His grace has brought you safe this far, and His grace will lead you home

You can hope, you can rise, you can stand

He’s still got the whole world in His hands

You can hope, you can rise, you can stand

He’s still got the whole world, the whole world in His hands

He’s still got the whole world in His hands

In his hands, yeah

He’s still got the whole world in His hands

This song has blessed me beyond words. I have listened to it over and over again and it still strengthened me to face today, tomorrow and forever. I pray that as you read this blog, that God will speaks to your hearts and let you know that "It is gonna be alright!"

My prayer is that whatever it is that you are facing right now. May it be financial troubles, marriage or relationship issues, heart broken, addiction, confused moments or just a troubled heart. Problems that keeps you awake at night, cry until you fall asleep and ruined your life. People that you can't trust anymore because they hurt you very bad. WHATEVER it is that you labeled as "trouble" or "problems."

Tonight, let God hold you in His arms. Give Him your problems, talk to Him and cry with Him. I pray that God's own hands will comfort you, strengthened you and lift your spirit up. I pray that God will make you feel His love right here, right now. I am crying with you, I am praying with you. I hope that as much as this song and its words brings me comfort, it will do the same to your heart. God is in control and He will never let you go. If He could create and hold the entire universe and beyond. He makes sure the animals have food and shelter. He makes sure one planet and star do not collide with each others. He make sure the moon and the sun knows their job. It means that YOU and I, are absolutely can rest easy in His big and loving arms.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30 (New International Version)

XOXO

Lindsay

Images are taken via

Happy Memorial Day

via

Memorial Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the last Monday of May. Formerly known as Decoration Day, it commemorates U.S. Service Members who died while in the military service. Today is the day!

As many Americans celebrate today with BBQ and run by the beach or getting some tanned by the pool. There are mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters who mourned for the lost of their family member. There are wife, husband and children who are paying the price of losing their loved one, for our freedom. As the old saying, "Freedom is not free." Indeed! But, not everyone understand the pain of losing someone to a war.

I am a military brat and am proud of it. Growing up in a Military family makes me understand the meaning of sacrifice, scar of war and the price we have to pay. Married to a military man, makes me experience it to a whole different level. I am a part of that, daily!

via

So, today, as you enjoy your day off and grilling those yummy BBQ. Thank a Veteran today, thank their family. Remember the fallen heroes and honor them. Pray for the family who lost their loved one in a war, past and present. Pray for those who served and are serving in the US Armed Forces. Their sacrifice is more than you could ever imagine or understand, unless you are in their shoes (or in their family's).

via

There was a moment when he was just born, 

and you cried with happiness.

There was a moment when he was drawing an airplane and said "I want to be a pilot," 

and you smiled.

There was a moment when he decided to join the Armed Forces 

and you were crying with pride.

There was a moment when you opened the door 

and there were officers with uniform standing there to informed you that..

he died fighting for your freedom,

And you are crying endlessly!

We feel your pain and we are praying for you. Your son, daughter, brother, sister, husband, wife, father, mother are not forgotten. You are not forgotten too, family!

May God give them comfort and love as we, as a nation, celebrate today as a "Memorial Day" and they remember the memories they had with their loved ones.

In loving memory of our friend, Sgt. Jason Adam McLeod

Click on these websites to help veterans and their families:

Disabled American Veterans

http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/

http://www.volunteer.va.gov/

ONE MORE

via

"One More"

by SUPERCHICK

It feels like I have lost this fight

They think that I am staying down

But I'm not giving up tonight

Tonight the wall is coming down

I am stronger than my fears

This is the mountain that I climb

Got 100 steps to go

Tonight I'll make it 99

One more

Go one more

Yeah, yeah

Don't stop now

Go one more

Yeah, yeah

One more

Go one more

Go one more

Yeah, yeah

I have everything to lose

By not getting up to fight

I might get used to giving up

So I am showing up tonight

I am my own enemy

The battle fought within my mind

If I can overcome step one

I can face the 99

Who was praying for you?!

"And this is the confidence that we have toward him, 

that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. 

And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, 

we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him." (1 John 5:14-15 ESV)

I was on the phone with my mom the other night and it was a sweet conversation we had. My mom and the rest of my family lives in Indonesia, a beautiful country where my heart will always beat with love. We were talking about the family, crazy unpredictable weather (I know, right?!), food, etc. Then she mentioned something about my grandma. Her name is Marlene, Lenny for short. I grew up with her since I am one of the oldest grandchildren (yipee for me) and my parents were still in the college when they had me. So, I spent almost everyday with my grandparents. My grandma LOVES to cook and eat, she is also a perfectionist (I get this from her). She is one of the strong willed woman I have known my entire life. Beside our love of everything being on its place perfectly, we also share one passion in life (OK, beside food lol) and that is PRAYING

Many of you who really knows me will also know my love for God and my passion to pray for anyone or anything. It is something I learned ever since I was a kid and it grows to me personally and it becomes my daily oxygen. Praying is my life, my passion and my joy. It is my calling in life.

OK, now let's go back to my conversation with my mom last night. She told me that my grandma had a chance to testify in her annual woman's ministry last week. In her testimony, she basically said how she knew God, went to some Bible school, serve God and others.

Then, she said something that I already know but it was a great reminder for me last night. She said,

" When God called me to know him personally and to serve Him. It changed my life. I have been a Christian my whole life, but having a special relationship with God is different than just hold onto a title of being a Christian. Since that time, I have PRAYED for my husband, children, grandchildren and those future family that God will give me. I have prayed for God's grace to save their souls and God answered every single one of that prayers of mine. My children and grandchildren now knows God, saved by His grace, and are serving Him. I am forever grateful. As for me and my household, we will (and are) serving the Lord"

The best legacy anyone could ever give their children is not possession, it is their FAITH and WISDOM! You will be amazed of what prayer will change your life and others. You will be amazed how things started in life begins with a simple prayer. Its not about the beauty of the words you said. It is not about the length of time you spent. It is not about you when you pray. It is about who you are praying to and for.

"For there is one God, 

and there is one mediator between God and men, 

the man 

Christ Jesus" 

(1 Timothy 2:5 ESV)

I have seen, heard and proved the power of prayer. I have prayed and God has answered. I have asked, and God has answered. I presented my requests and some got answered, some have not and some might never be exactly the way I wished it to be answered. But, it is worth a try!

So many times, we have blamed God, circumstances, and others for not answering or doing our request the way we wanted it to be done. We think that just because certain things don't comes out the way we expected, then it is simply mean God did not answer,or worst, God is not real. How many times did you ask your parents, boss, husband, wife, kid, friend for a favor and they refused to give it to you the way you asked. Plenty of time! Now, does that make them not real, not answering, or mean to you? or do they have the right reason/excuse? some of them yes, some of them not. Simply because not everything we wished, asked and expected come true the way we dreamed, asked or wished. Why? it is a part of being human. When everything answered then there is no room for faith, hope and even love left. Why? because we got what we want anyway..who needs God or other people to help us? Being self centered, selfish and prideful of yourself is the beginning of self destruction.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."(Philippians 4:6-7 ESV)

If you are a parent, pray for your children. Starting by telling God that you believe in Him and trusting Him to give you the wisdom, strength and ability to carry one day at a time. Start your prayer with thanksgiving to God's goodness. Say what is it that you are thankful for the day. The breath of life, food, job, house, pet, family, nature and so on. Then present your prayer request to God, may it be your children, job, financial, etc. But, simply just talk to God in your heart. He already knows what you need or going to ask Him, but He wanted to hear you saying it. In a conversation there is a feeling of knowing each other, intimacy, relationship. That is what God wants from us. Talk to Him and have a relationship with him, daily. Bear in mind that praying is not asking God to do exactly how we want it, when we want it. He knows best for the universe, let alone our needs. Trust Him to do what, when and how is the best way to do things for us and for OUR OWN GOOD.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, 

plans for welfare and not for evil, 

to give you a future and a hope."

(Jeremiah 29:11 ESV)

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, 

who have been called according to his purpose." 

(Romans 8:28 NIV)

Understand that praying is not about making God your server or slave. When we pray to Him, we pray to the living God who created heaven and earth. He OWNS everything. He doesn't owe us anything. If He spared time to hear your prayers, that is an honor. That is not because He must,its because He wants to do that for us. Because God is love. He wants whats best for you and one of the best way to get to know Him is through praying, reading the Bible and obey Him.

If you are curious about God and everything about Him. Start reading the book of John and Romans. If you want some uplifting verses when you are praying, try to read Psalm.

I wanna thank my grandma and my mom for praying for me and teach me how to pray. I started praying when I was still in diapers. I started praying over simple things, like when I woke up every mornings and when I was about to go to sleep at night. I prayed before I ate with thanksgiving. I then started to pray for other people, nations, leaders, celebrity, world issues and even strangers. I found my strength, comfort, hope, love and faith through praying and it is all started because someone before me was praying for me to know God. That someone is my grandma and then my mom. They pray and they show me how to pray. Above all, they teach me to love the Lord and that is the most amazing thing anyone could have ever done in my life.

Who is praying for you? I am praying for you right now as you read this blog. There is always someone praying for you, even those that you do not know their names. Jesus was praying for you. If you need any prayer request, please leave a comment or inbox me. I will pray for you! You are not alone in this world.

xoxo

Lindsay

(All Images: google search)