Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The "What If" Factor


I am sure that we all have our moment when we feel like we could have done something different in life. May it be a career choice, spouse, diet plan, etc. We also have one of those moments when we doubt our decision. Sometimes we even get mad at ourself for letting us down.

I was talking with one of my relative and she was still drowned in sadness because her husband died years ago. She could not or should I say, would not, move on with her life. It is OK to mourn and cry when someone died. It is OK to start slowly with the moving on process, but it has to be done. Moving on has nothing to do with forgetting the person.

Moving on means you have to live your life and let that dead person, that we love, rest in peace. Those who died has finished their duty in life, not the living though. We are still living our life, so please don't die with them while you are alive. We need to let go of some things in our life that needed to go.


There is also a dangerous factor of don't want to move on with life or don't wanna let things go the way they should. Holding onto something like this is unhealthy. It ruins your life and others who actually cares and loves you. Do you have any idea how many hearts has been broken just because you are too busy caring for the dead and forget the living?. Your husband might be dead, but your children are alive. Your wife might divorced you, but your children depends on you. Your boss might fired you, but you don't have to be a jerk to everyone around you.

INHALE LOVE, EXHALE HAPPINESS
INHALE HATE, EXHALE BITTERNESS

I am not just talking about death. I am talking about broken heart because someone break up with you. I talked to my friend who seriously wounded because of her boyfriend. She thought they should be together forever and he did not think that is a good idea for them. Fast forward, years later a.k.a now, she still think that her life would be much better had she married him. I mean..COME ON!

When are you going to wake up and starting to realize that certain thing happened for a reason? In her case, BETTER reason. The end of something bad, might be the beginning of a new season of greatness in life. If we are willing to let go and move on with our lives.

I have been there and done that and wear the t-shirt!

I am not trying to be mean. I just want people to realize how much potential life has to offer them, had they willing to think positive. Even when bad and sad things happened to us, we have to survive the life. If we want to change the way we live then we must move on.

The sad part of don't want to let go and keep thinking the "What If" factor in our heads, is losing. We lost opportunity to love a new person or be loved by them. We lost relationship. We lost chances. We lost a lot of times that should be filled with happiness, instead of depression and pills to make you sleep.

Stop thinking about "What if I married him, life would be better" or "What if she is still alive, I might not be like this" or "What if I did not break up with him, I might have 5 kids by now" and so on. Appreciate what you have now and NOT what you could have had, IF __ (fill the blank)


The "What If" is a pity cry because you are too afraid to move on with your life. It is a fantasy that will never happen. So, unless you are willing to shake it off your head and think straight ahead, you will live the same miserable life forever. Let's be honest, nobody wanted to live with regrets of the "What If" that suppose to be that way. The what if in your head eliminate opportunities in life, break your life and others around you.

If it is not meant to be, then it is not meant to be. Don't push your life to turn around and stay in the past. Push forward, no matter how hard things might get during the process, keep pressing forward. You do not want to live in that "What If" prison of mind. What's not meant to be, must not meant to be. Don't try to take control over something that is already over.

Accept the fact that many times, life doesn't turn out the way we wanted to be. There are things that we can still do something to change it, but there are things that needed to be done. Do not try to win something that is already been defeated. Do not try to change something that cannot be changed. Some things are the way they suppose to be because that is the path that God prepare for your future. But, if you don't trust Him and take things into your own hands then be careful, because things might get messy and you will never find the right way unless you chose a different path in life.


What if
can either makes you more creative in life or hold those creativity from you. Be free and enjoy life. Your future is not over yet because someone died. Your life should not end because someone break up with you. Your family don't have to suffer just because you can't control your emotion, etc.

People who could not letting go tends to rejected happiness because they thought they could not be happier unless things go BACK the way it should be. They think life as a tragedy and they are the reason people say, "Misery loves company."

You do not wanna be the misery followers or friends. Life is too precious to waste it.

Enjoy life!

Let Go and let GOD! 

xoxo
Lindsay