The Mask

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What is it with people these days? We are all stuck in the middle of our own standard of happiness. We are all let other people defined the meaning of life and whatever package that comes with it.

I love Starbucks because it tastes good or because all your friends hang out in there? I love LV because it is your style or is it because that’s what your girlfriends thought is “cute”.

I wear a thong because I like it or is it because that’s what Victoria Secret’s models are wearing? I spent thousands of dollars for a handbag because I love spending the money I work hard for or is it because that’s how you should keep up with the so called “trend.”

I love to get drunk because I like it or is it your way out of life? I wanna have sex before I am 18 years old because that’s what my friends called “cool” and “mature”.

I wanna get married and if I don’t like it then I just divorce him, that’s what my parents did. I love this and I love that because I love it or because they said, whoever “they” are.

Who are the “they” factor in your life? Who is the most influential person in your life? is it your parents, friends, celebrity? What is the most influential thing in your life? TV, internet, iPod, magazines, books?

What is the most “I cant live without” things in your life? Those are the “they” factors in your life.

Aren’t we all a great actor and actress? We play the “I am good, I am fine” line when someone asked us “How are you doing?”.

We play the “I am OK” line when someone asked us “What’s that black mark around your eyes?”

We play the happy wife and husband role when we are in front of our kids, friends, or even church.

We play the good citizen role when we chanting the name of our President or when we sing the national anthem. We play the good worker’s role when we are in front of our boss. We play the good role as a sexy stripper when we tried to make our husbands happy even though we might not like it. We play the good role of kids when we are in front of our parents, etc.

We are all actors. 

Sometimes we do it because that is how it suppose to be at that moment. Sometimes we do it because that’s what we know how to do it. Sometimes we do it because that is how we feel about it. Sometimes we do it because it makes us feel good. Sometimes we do it because it makes us “somebody”. Sometimes we do it because we love it. Sometimes we do it because we are trying to be honest with the world, this is how we really are (and so many times, the world hates the truth). But we do it anyway!

We are all wearing a mask, some even wear more than one mask. Why do we even put a mask? because reality is harder than what we thought it would be. Why do we need a mask? because mask makes us feel safe, better and become someone we are not (but we want to be that someone). Why do we like to put on a mask? because a mask hide our real beasts, we don’t like when other people see our beast, we just want them to see the “beauty” of us.

Why don’t we take the mask off? because it is easier to act, to hide, to pretend than to be real, honest and true to other people even to ourselves. Because we are trained to wear the mask and by the time we put the mask on, we know what to do, it has the magic power to move our hands, eyes, mouth, feet. We become an actor in our own movie of LIFE.

Is it true when they said that God is the director of life and we are all the actors playing our roles or is it us who is the director and the actor at the same time? We want God in our life, but we want him as the camera man, or as the producer, but hey..we want the director, screen writer, actors to be us.

Men think that we are the master of our own life, we can just hide in our mask and play the role.

But, men never expected the role becomes so hard to keep you with and the mask starting to become irritated, weary, old and melting. The true color of our faces are staring to comes out, whether we like it or not, the mask will disappear. The acting job will retired sooner or later. It is just the matter of time. How and when, it is not my job to tell you.

Stop wearing a mask and start living your life. Stay true to yourself and to other people. We cannot live without knowing that there is someone greater than us, someone stronger than us, someone who will receive us just the way we are, someone who knows and sees beyond the mask. That someone is God and He doesn’t want us to waste our time pretending we are living the life. He doesn’t want us to let other people determined what is cool and what is not. He doesn’t want us to let the world shape our faith or views. He doesn’t want us to play role like a robot. He wants us to seek Him, understand Him and ask Him about everything and anything.

After all, we all gonna die anyway. I don’t know about you, but I do not wanna take off my mask when I die. It will be sucks. I want to take it off now, give that mask to God and start living myself being the one that God wants me to be, not what the world wants me to be, or even what I want me to be.

I am limited and so are you, but God is unlimited!

xoxo,

Lindsay

The "Dexter" Syndrome.

Anyone watch DEXTER on Showtime?

Dexter is an American television drama series based on the novel Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay and adapted for television by Emmy Award-winning screenwriter James Manos, Jr., who wrote the pilot episode. Set and produced in Miami, the series centers on Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall), a serial killer who works for the Miami Metro Police Department as a blood spatter analyst.

Dexter basically is a man with a troubled past. He saw his mom murdered when he was 3 years old. A police officer, Harry, adopted him because it was his fault Dex’s mom got killed. He was suppose to protected her because she is an informant for the police regarding a drug dealer cases, but he failed, then he adopted Dexter. Dex grew up and become a very smart man, but he has a dark side, he is a sociopath.

He likes to kill people, not just a regular killing, but a thoughtful clean ones. He killed only criminals or “people who deserves it”. An interesting fact is that Dexter works for the Police Dept. as a blood spatter analyst LOL. The only one who know about his secret was his brother, who is also a cold blooded killer, but he died. Dexter killed him!

Basically, Dexter is a very controversial series because it is a great story, but it is also a very brutal one. In a way it promotes Dexter as a “hero” or should I say a superhero for a modern life. Here are the facts : Dexter became a sociopath who is also a blood thirst killer because he was traumatized since he was 3 years old. Saw his mom murdered and sitting inside that place with a flood of blood. He loves people who obey the rules but hates those who breaks it. BUT, does it mean that he could kill any criminals and get away with it? Does it mean that one can take anyone’s life and consider it pays the “debt” they owe to the society?.

Yes, it was a very interesting movie, a good one I should add. But it is also a kind of movie that makes us “love” the evil. We kinda want Dexter to get away because he is the main character in that series and he is the “hero”. The one that we like, the one that we feel pity for,the one who killed criminals, the one who makes the story fun to watch. But at the same time, inside your heart, you know that he is wrong. He is as sick as the people he killed. He is a lost soul who blamed his past and hide in his monster’s mask. He doesnt wanna get heal, he doesnt wanna stop doing the killing, he loves the it. The only thing that keeps him to kill everyone is his “human” side. His human side still have feelings toward the innocent people. But, he wants to satisfy his addiction by killing. The question is who can I kill? the bad people, the criminals!

Is he a hero because he killed criminals and made the world a better place? Does he making a difference in people’s life by killing those criminals? For whatever reason, he doesnt have any right to kill anyone.

But why do we love dexter? is it because he is the main character in that series or is it because the devil wants us to see it as “good”? It's almost like watching a movie and says “the good side of Hittler” or “a good side of Al Capone." Of course people has a lil splash of good side no matter how bad they are. But does it mean we just see the good and forget about the bad sides, or does it mean we are in denial?. We know he is bad but hey lets see if he has something good left.

What if there is no good side of somebody? Can someone has nothing but evil in his life or we are just too blind to see it?

People said that some people are not human at all. But they are human, might be trapped or lost, but still a human. Why do people kill? Many reason! But that is not the answer or the right question in this case. What should we do to prevent it? Can we prevent killing?. Even in a country where killers are punished in a very brutal way, people still kills.

Why does Dexter wanted to put other people in line to cover up his act? Is he a coward, or is it because he doesnt wanna be the “bad” person?. Does it because he still wants to kill? selfish? or maybe he is just a human just like the rest of us who tried to do anything we can to survive life.

In his world, he needs to put others on his spot in exchange of his own freedom, its a jungle law, kill or be killed!

I am not just talking about Dexter but also about all of us. There is a dark side in all of us, an animal side in us. 

What keeps us human?

What keeps us sane in this insane world? What makes us different than Dexter?

We all express our hate, love and justice in a different way. Dexter express it through his brutal killing. We express it by yelling or being quiet, but we EXPRESSED it. We let people know what we feel, even for those who says they dont have feelings at all. They still expressed their feelings by their action. Dexter is not your average boy next door. He is different, he said he has no feeling or cant feel anything, but does he telling the truth?.

Killing is expressing his feeling. What do we get from his killing? An expression of something powerful inside his heart, something strong, unforgiving and cold. An expression of someone who hates life because he lost it when he was a kid. An expression of someone who wants justice and take it into his own hands. An expression of a lost soul who wants to see good but doesn't know what good is all about. An expression of someone who is very angry at happiness because he never had any. A screaming for help but no one can hear it.

If you look really close at this case, you will see a hole and that hole is empty. Because no one can reach to that hole. If he let other to reach that hole, the other party must be God. Because human is not perfect in his eyes, because he is a human being and he knows what human could do to others. He needs something or someone bigger than human, a power beyond his own.

xoxo,

Lindsay

Images are taken from google

Life equals puzzles?

I was talking with my friend earlier. She is a very beautiful, young and smart woman. Her story about her life makes me wondering about what life really is all about. She has it all but yet she said she is not happy.

Some have it all or it seems like it. Some have a great career but can’t find love, some find love but struggling with their career, etc. Only a few number of people who says they have it all, and most of them are elderly. Is it because they have seen too much in their lifetime that made them says it or is it because they have seen life differently?!

When we are still a kid, we love to have very big dreams and most of them are science fiction or fantasy. When we are a teenager, dreams becomes hopes, love and fairy tale. When we are an adult, we start to dream differently, real life dreams, goals and compete. When we are old, well I don’t know..because I am not old yet hahaah..but most of them says that when they are old, they look back and still think that life is so fast. Before we even realize it, life moves faster than our dreams.

Sometimes life can be a confusing puzzle for me. If we see the big puzzle, we might see the whole thing. But when we stuck with the small pieces, so many times it leads to nowhere, or we ended up blaming ourselves for that small pieces who got misplaced. Sometimes I look back to find where did I do wrong, or how did I ended up doing this stupid thing, or what did I do to deserve this..and many times, I do not have the answer for that.

Someone told me one day, that we need to see the big puzzle and when it is done, we might find the answer to the small pieces and we will be able to fill the holes of that puzzle. I guess we don’t have to try to figure everything out all at once, but we need to try to fill things up one by one, step by step, one piece of a puzzle at a time.

How do we beat the puzzle’s game? play it, look at it, replace the wrong one with the right one, remember how it gets there, move it around until the puzzle is done. It is a confusing part when we haven’t started it and it is a confusing games before we see the big finale.

How do we beat life? by living it from learning, trying and moving on. Remove the wrong puzzle and see the bigger picture. If we are stuck with one piece, move to another angle, another side, another puzzle and try that side until it is done and then come back for the difficult ones.

Sometimes we are stuck with life, or so we thought, but actually it is not life that we are stuck with, part of life, only a small part of it, not all. Move with the next challenge. When I am stuck with one problem, I am one of those people who wants to make it done perfectly. But sometimes, I need to move on to the next one and then comeback to fix the first one. And so many times, I fix it first then move on to the next level or problem of life.

I do not have any conclusion for life because I am still in the race, running and compete. One day, when I finish my race, then I might have the conclusion of life itself. But, until then it remains a mystery of the future.