Love is NOT blind!

I have heard this saying, "Love Is Blind", since I was a baby lol. I mean, people have their own opinion, reason and excuse about everything in life, including your own opinion for a certain statement, such as:

 LOVE is blind.

I have always disagree with this statement, simply because I, personally, think that we must be able to see to understand and to love someone or something. Yes, your heart could also see beyond what eyes have not seen. Your eyes, brain and heart must work together to accomplished a balance judgement, decision and choices in life.

We must be able to open our eyes to see the imperfection, injustice, fear, abuse, passion, talent, etc. We must be able to see so that we will have compassion about something or someone. If we chose to close both eyes and be "blind" about love, then we will never know whether it is love, lust or attraction or temporary feelings. When we are "blind", we are lost in the dark, not knowing what to do or what suppose to be done (In this context, I am not talking about/trying to make fun of blind people).

I am a big believer of if I am about to be in a relationship with a man, I have to like that man, I have to at least have a physical attraction to him. Come on! You cannot say it is all about the heart and you do not care of what they look like physically. I am not talking about a certain race, body shape, face shape, etc, because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? I am talking about personal attraction (physically). Everyone has different taste when it comes to see other people's beauty. Personality is a huge part and a great heart is also a double plus points, but if you are not attracted to that person at all, then it is hard to build a relationship with him/her because someday, sooner or later, you will try to change them or wished they look like someone else or you will find someone else that will make you re-think your choice. 

A lot of people chose to be blind when it comes to loving someone, too blind that they let this other person treated them like crap, disrespectful and almost like a sad recycle garbage, excuse the comparison, I chose it wisely so that we understand that we are NOT a garbage. We are a human being who deserves better than a punching bag or visiting hours only when they want something from us and then throw it away after they get tired or bored with us. That is not healthy and NOT love either! Love should make your eyes open with gladness, your heart flourished with happiness and your brain smiles. Love does not make you forget who you are as a person, love does not create fear, love does not mean you lost yourself so that the other person would/might like you, love honors you, love respects you and love treats you as a human being with dignity and soul.

All I am saying is that to love someone, you must OPEN your eyes (heart and brain), so that you will be able to understand them as a person, to accept things about them, to learn about them, to love them regardless of their weaknesses and strength. THAT is why love is not blind, to see is to understand-accept-learn-love and be loved for who you are (or he/she is) as a person.

How do you know that someone loves you? through their words and actions. You need to SEE the facts and the proof that they love you. 

I stand with "Love is NOT blind" :)

xoxo,

Lindsay

For Better or For Worse

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I truly LOVE that quote!

By the way, you should check out her website: http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/

Anyway..

I love that quote because marriage life is not always about the fun, love, holding hands and great sex. There are times when none of that happened for various reasons. However, even when things gets harder or even worse than before, we must keep in mind why we got married on the first place and fighting (work together) to make it work, to fix it, to make it better.

I will not write a lot about this issue because that quote already speaks EVERYTHING about marriage life; problems, conquer it and be a victorious lovebirds for the rest of your life. 

Sometimes things must get worse before it becomes better. Sometimes it must be broken so that you could have a better, renewal life. Sometimes life must tasted the bitterness so that we could appreciate the sweetness out of it and be thankful. 

Those who survives the storms comes out stronger, better and wiser. Facing the problems, solving it with the one you love, not running away from it. Problems will always be there even in a perfect situation, there will always be problems. So, giving up on your marriage and thinking that the next one will be "problem free" will not solve your misery, because the next one might be crazier than this one LOL.

PS. Of course it depends on your "problems" as well, like I always said, if it becomes an abusive relationship and your life (and kids) are in danger, then be wise to seek help and save yourself!

xoxo,

Lindsay

Identity Crisis

I LOVE MARRIAGE LIFE!

HA!

I mean despite the fights, the hectic schedules we both had or whose turn to take the dog out's conversation, I actually love marriage life. I love the companionship and friendship that my husband and I have the most, even though my husband is a "non talker" kinda guy, but he is cool. I cannot stand a very talkative man anyway, it is too annoying for me. 

I know I am too young to give marriage advice or to even talk about how to make your marriage work and I am not here for any of that, because I believe that everyone's marriage life is different.

I JUST WANNA TALK!

First years of my marriage I found myself lost, because my husband is the only man that I've dated who is younger than me (gasp) and we've only dated for one year (with him being on deployment). It was a fast, fun and crazy love. So, when we got married, it was actually our real date. We found things that surprised us in a good and bad way, we sees things differently and there are questions of "Am I doing the right thing" or "What was I thinking" moments.

I also find an identity crisis! HELP!

OK, my husband is a white man, I am Asian. We have different background of cultures, foods, habit, family upbringing, etc. The great thing is that my husband is in the military, which means he LOVES to learn about other culture, eat different foods (he eats more spicy/hot foods than me and I am Manadonese, we eat extremely spicy/hot foods), eager to visit different places, longing to live in a different places - which is why we move a lot and loving it!. I mean, we are young, we should move around and enjoy life to the fullest. 

But, I found myself doing things that I hate, but I do it anyway to make my husband happy. At least that's what I thought, but then I realized that there are so many things that my husband introduced to me that I used to think I hate it. I guess he brings out the potential, the goodness out of me. I do not  like trying something new (unless it is food lol), my husband is adventurous. I hate hikes, due to its intense hills, sunburn and bugs. But, guess what? I am loving it now. I hate hardcore music and one day my husband took me to "Sleeping Giant" concert and I love it now. I still do not like extreme roller coaster, no matter how much my husband loves it. I still do not wanna touch a snake, no matter what my husband think of a snake. I still hate cherries, my husband loves it (I do love cherry fruit, I do not like them on my drink/cake). I learn some "geeky" stuff, since my husband is one of them, I love some, understand some, hate some, don't understand a lot. LOL!

My point is that in the beginning of our marriage, I am still trying to adjust the two worlds. I had to brave myself up to try the things that is foreign for me or weird or sounds discomfort. There are things that I finally love, there things that I still hate. You don't have to like all of your husband's hobbies, habits or friends lol, but you learned to let go, compromised, acceptance, sacrifice and get your own bargain..uh huh ladies..you do A for him, which means he will do B for you. It works both ways to be happy ;)

So, remember, just because you are in a relationship, it does not mean you have to be boring. What I meant by "boring" is that you do not wanna do something new because you had one bad experience or because of your insecurity. Try it first, if you do not like it then tell him/her, but you might be surprised of your new found love. 

Do not do it in the name of "trying to fit in" or to look/sound cool on Facebook! Do it because you want to try it. Do it because you like the challenge. Do it because you want to find out what you have been missed all this time. Do it because you are curious!.

On the other hand, do not lose your identity either. God creates us unique in our own way, you do not have to be someone else to make him/her happy. Don't do something just because you want them to be happy and losing yourself in the process. Yes, we must sacrifice a lot of things in a relationship, but it does not mean you "killed" yourself. Stay true to who you are as a person and find what truly makes you happy. 

There are things that we do that I hate, there are things that he hates, but along the way, we started to find out what works-what does not work, what needs time, how we do it, how we say it/introduce it to our spouse, when we do it and how to understand that sometimes not everything that we love would works for the other person. Instead of pushing him to love your hobby that he hates, why not doing things that you both love?.

Sacrifice is needed but remember of who you are as person. Do not lose your identity! Be happy, be proud and celebrate yourself. On the other hand, open up and live a little..try new things, even things that you are afraid of or hate, you might love it, you might not, but hey..you have tried!

Do not limit yourself or your family! A lot of kids do not try new things because the parents are "boring" , doing the same thing over and over again. You might not like it, but your spouse might like it and your kids might love it too, but they will never know it because you might limit the fun meters. Sometimes you just need to let go and not being too afraid of everything. If you are a control freak, like myself, then it is time to learn that you can't control everything. If they (spouse/kids) wanna do something, let them try it and if you wanna do something new, do it! :)

-Live Life To The Fullest-

Me and my man on my B'day!

xoxo,

Lindsay

I Am Already Disturb, Please Come In

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LOL!!

People tend to do the things we told them not to do
or should I say, "rules are meant to be broken?,"

This sign should do it!

*still laughing*

Sometimes what we need to do in life is to let other people know how we really feel at that moment, that way they will not pushed your button or disturbed you when you need your holy moment of "Me Time" and you will not hurt them with your attitude or words. 

When we stressed out, 

we tend to say and do things that we do not mean to do, 

but a tired body and mind could not think straight. 

Everyone needs a break, a rest, a time to re-think and re-energized the body, soul, mind..life. Many of us think that we could not do that because there are so many people and things that depended on us and therefore we have no time to rest, re-think, re-energized ourselves, even when we need it.

Many times, we let ourselves down in order to make other people happy or functioned. It may sound selfish, but the benefits of you taking care of you is huge. You may never know what a five minutes rest or an hour or a day of "do not disturb" me moment will do to yourself (and others).

Marriage is the field of learning what to do and what not to do!

First year of my marriage, I tend to think and expected my husband to know me, to understand me, and then to  realized that he is actually clueless (he is not a mind reader).

When I am down, sad or stressed out, I expected my husband to just know it, but he did not. Men says that women are mysterious. That might be a surprise for us, women, because we think we are a VERY easy creature, "what not to love and what not to understand's" thought, but we are wrong. Women are complicated compare to men. I learned more about this after I got married. HA!

I, sometimes, do not understand me!

...LOL...

Hormonal, complicated feelings, circumstances, blah blah.. that is not the case. If you feel like you are in a bad mood, you should tell your spouse. Tell them specifically what you want to do, need to do and what you expected from them to help you out. There are times that they might not be able to help you out, because it is your own problem and you are the one who should help yourself out, but many times they are a great helper. If you do not tell others what you are feeling, they might take it personally. Many times, they (spouse, kids, etc) are the problem, but sometimes they are not the problem, but they are the one who get yelled at and that will hurt them.

Do yourself a favor and save yourself!

:)

I took a huge leap of faith when I quit my job,my source of income, my comfort zone. But, it was the right time to do so because I was going insane with my over worked body. I was exhausted mentally, physically and drained spiritually. I need a rest in order for me to re-arrange my own life to be a better me. I feel a lot better after that break and loving my life again.

We need to be brave,

do not over think or over analyze something that is actually a very simple issue. 

Sometimes, all you need to do is to re-think, re-energized, re-arrange your life and to let others know that you need that "Me Time" or "I am already disturb, please come in" sign and I betcha..nobody will mess with you at that time!

For those who did not get it (lol)

*It is not an invitation, it is a warning sign*

xoxo,

Lindsay

Single or Taken?

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Ouch!! 

:)

A dear friend of mine posted this image on her Facebook's page a while ago and I found it very true, funny and sad at the same time!

When we were little, girls loves to fantasize of her prince charming, the knight in shinning armor who would do anything for her, loves her and treat her like a princess everyday.

If you grew up with a father whom you considered as your "hero", then there is a huge possibility that you will find a man who reflected your father. Not in a gross way, come on!! LOL!!

I meant a man who in so many ways reminds you of your father as far as his character, his hard work, his dedication and how he treated you as a human being.

If you grew up with a father who failed to do his job as a father, then there is a possibility that you ended up confused with men. You have no idea of what a great man is all about or how they should treat you and what is the man's position/roles in a marriage, because you never had one good male figure in your life.

On the other hand, even if you grew up with a bad father, it actually makes you very picky to chose your soul mate, because you do not want your life to ended up like your mother and you do not want you future kids to suffer what you went through as a child (to present time - yes parents, you left scars on your children's lives, it affected us in so many ways).

At the end of the day, we met some men, 

some of them are great, 

some of them are jerk, 

and WE ended up picked ONE that we thought qualified as our "Prince Charming".

Fast forward...

Once you entered a life called "marriage", your world changes!

Things that we did not see when we were dating is starting to appeared, 

things that we hate and love as well.

There are people who are really good at hiding the "true color" of their soul.

Some learned to be better and actually trying to be the best,

Others are too selfish to let go of their bad side.

Many became a bad (or good) one because something happened in their lives that changed their good behavior to be bad and their bad behavior to be good.

If your marriage is taking a down stroll, then you are one of the "Taken and not in love"s group?

Well, I think that there are some steps before we got into that phase in a relationship:

1. Love - Married/Dating - Lost the love

2. Not in love - Married/Dating - Fall in love

 3. Not in love - Married/Dating - Still not in love

4. Love - Married/Dating - Still in love

LOL, right?

So, which one are you at this point? Ideally, people would love to be number four, because it is the perfect kind of relationship, but sadly, not all of us could experience it. 

"Marriage doesn't create problems. It reveals them. You bring unresolved stuff into it."

Rick Warren 

Now, let's move on to the single ladies/men,

woot woot!!

I found it very true when people say they are single and happy, 

if that is really their honest feeling, 

because it is simply mean they are not ready to get involved in any relationship.

It is better to admit it, instead of rushing into any relationship based on a moment of passionate sex or a pressure from everyone else who wanted you to be in a relationship, when you, yourself, are not ready.

"You can't hurry love, right?"

;)

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Now, for those who are single and ready to be in a relationship but has not meet up with the right man/woman yet,

are you still single and happy or single and miserable?

This is for you to answer yourself.

But hey..,

I would rather wait for the right one, enjoy my single life without any drama and do things that will benefits myself in the future instead of rushing into a relationship, get all the drama that you don't need and then your life becomes worst than "The Real Housewives of Hell".

It's harder to fix the broken heart and clean up the mess it created than to be in a relationship with someone. I would rather check the "single" box in my Facebook account than to check the "Its complicated" one..

whew!! 

I just can't deal with anything that is complicated.

Even though, I can't speak up for any relationship that is complicated because when it comes to love, you get mixed feelings, emotions, logical thinking, and "sacred" moments.

Its harder to let go when you are in a relationship,

there is an emotional connection that is hard to break.

But, in a very bad situation,
always remember to save yourself
so you can save others!

What do I love the most of being married to my husband?

COMPANIONSHIP

and that is my final and honest answer!

via 

Singles and Doubles,

Taken or not,

In or out of love,

have a great Friday

T.G.I.F

;)

xoxo,

Lindsay

Six Years

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MY DARLING HUSBAND

♥ ♥ ♥♥ ♥ ♥

Here is to our six years of adventure in life,

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Here is to another six, sixty and many more!

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Nothing is sweeter than LOVE,

Nothing is greater than LOVE,

Nothing is better than to LOVE and be LOVED!

Embrace your journey together as a husband and wife,

Enjoy your adventure as the head and the helper,

Embrace your differences as an eastern and western lovers.

Enjoy your life as a man and a woman,
Embrace your moments.

United in love,

Bond in commitment,

with honor and respect,

Before God,

Each other,

and others.

xoxo,

Lindsay and Ryan

Listen-Silent

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Good Morning Readers! How are you today? Hope life has been good to all of you.

I found this quote today and I am loving it.

My husband is the listen and silent type and I found it extremely painful sometimes LOL.

I am a woman and as a woman, we enjoy a nice conversation with out spouse or friends.

But, my husband lives in his own world, which is his work.

I mean I love a hard working man but sometimes what you love the most in a person becomes your own boomerang. HA! 

But, I would not trade his work ethic for a lazy man. BOO!

Anyhow, I found it difficult to have a conversation with him.

I mean, the research shows that women speaks about 20000 to 25000 words per day and men are around 7000-10000 words per day. 

I am actually a shy person and not a talker, but I talk a lot to those that I feel connected with in so many level. But, I am still not a talker compare to most women. 

People says that men thinks women talk way too much and women thinks that men could never understand them. Geez, I wonder why? LOL

Is it because they do not ask more question or talk less and therefore they do not understand our world, or Is it because women are too tired to keep reminding the men what to do, where to go, how to do it for a million times?

Are we, women, that hard to understand?

Are we, women, that hard to please?

Are we, women, that needy or have the urgency to talk and having someone who actually listen and talk back to us?

Yes silent is golden, in times.

But, sometimes we need people who will not only listen to us but talk back.

A listener is worth a thousand words, but for the other person to realize that you actually were listening is the way you react to the situation or stories we were just talking about.

I hear you or I listen to you?

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... hahahhahhhhhaha ...

"Hear me" could just mean I know you were saying some words, echoing!

Listen to me means you get what I am (or trying to) saying and understand it.

But, why on earth that half the stuff I said to a certain people who said they listened, never get it done the way I asked them to do it? LOL

Anyway, I guess in every thing in this life must have a balance.

A moment to remain silent, 

A moment to listen,

A moment to talk,

A moment to accept,

A moment to act,

A moment to breathe and live your life

:)

Just one of those Saturday morning's talk!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day.

xoxo,

Lindsay

Childless (For Now)

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I grew up as an only child, not the spoiled one though LOL, and I am happy about it. I enjoy my alone time, my independent, my space, plus I have a big family so I am not lonely at all. I also have a lot more compassion toward other people because I do not have any siblings and therefore I do not have to help anyone in my circle of family. I have time to help other people who needs me!

I also do not like to play with dolls, I prefer boys stuff, puzzles, board games, video games, reading books or being a teacher/doctor to my stuffed animals. I also love to play and pretend to be an FBI agent lol. I have more love for animals than kids, especially those who are crazy, loud, rude and crying ALL the time, in other word, annoying! I do not find it cute when other people pointed to a baby with a whole bunch of stuff on their faces, I just wanted to wipe it all off. Clean it up! This is just me and my own perfectionism to the max lol.

However, I did some nanny/babysitter job to help me paying my tuition and bills. So, I know what it takes to take care of kids and I am actually pretty good at it (or so they said, HA!)

I got married and decided to wait a couple years to have babies. It has been five years and I actually am content and happy to live childless. My problem is that I am a Christian, in a baby obsessed society, with a lot of judgmental people as well. I do not understand why some of my friends, who are Christian, married and having children, would look at me and thought that I am "less" of a woman because I do not have kids (yet). I am a woman regardless whether I have a child or not. A child will not complete me, a husband will not complete me, God complete me as a person.

Every time I do something with my husband, instead of being happy for us, they would say things like, "Oh wait until you have kids, you will not be able to do all of that!". I found it extremely funny because I have been taking care of children of all ages, including twins along with their other two siblings (they are my fantastic four kids lol). I also been taking care of infant since the day they were born until they go to school. The oldest one that I cared for is now in high school. 

When I say babysit/nanny, I did everything with and for them from 8 hours a day to 12 hours to overnight's jobs. I was with them since the time they woke up to the time they go to sleep. I love each and every one of them. I taught them how to count, read, bath/shower, potty trained, making friends, paint, cook, sport, etc. I took them to park, school, courses, walk, gym, swim class, music class, doctor visit, concerts and flight for hours. I have NO problem and had fun with all of them! This is why I laughed so hard when people told me that I will not survive motherhood or that my marriage life will not be as "happy" when I have children. This is why: "IF I COULD TAKE SUCH A GREAT CARE OF OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I NOT BE ABLE TO HAVE FUN, ENJOY AND MAKE IT WORK WITH MY OWN KID?". I have friends who have babies/kids and have tons of FUN with their kids from hiking, concerts, flights, sports, etc. It actually depends on each individual. 

I might not know what it feels like to be pregnant, but it does not take pregnancy to make someone a good mother. I know plenty of women who delivered babies and neglected, abused and abandoned them as a child and as they grew up. 

I respect and honor those who chose to have no children because they know they are not up for it than those who get pregnant and then abandoned, abused, and neglected their children. There are so many broken souls on this earth because they have crazy, selfish, childish and unfit parents. I have seen those who only love the babies and let these "babies" grow up as a lost, confused and struggling children because the parents would not afford a good life for them. Why would you decide to have a child when you could not even afford your own life? This is why I, personally, think that waiting and consider it very well before having a child is important, unless you have it unplanned. That is a different case :)

Having a child means responsibility, sacrifice, money, and readiness as someone who could be their role model. Yes, you will be your children's friend, but being a parent also means you must be their mentor, the one who will show them what is right and wrong, discipline and love. The one that your children could go to when they needed something, moral, spiritual and financial guide or help. It means your life for them. Your life does not have to be over, but it will be limited to some level. 

I am grateful that God allowed me to be a nanny in some point of my life, because it helps me with my bills, and it helps me to understand the parenthood's world. It makes me know a lot about what to do with infant to teenager's problem. I am forever grateful to all the kids I have been taking care of so far in my life. They are my life, my joy and my world. Their differences makes me able to understand what to do or how to make certain things work on different characters and situation.

Parenting is rewarding to many people, but certainly NOT to all. Having children could strengthened a marriage or broke it. Having children could make you work even harder or run away from your responsibility. Having children could mean the end of your life or the beginning of something new, whether it is for the best or worst, depend on how you view it.

I, personally chose to live childless for now, but it does not mean I am 100% sure about it. I think I still want to have a child of my own someday, but I just hope the society will not judge us, the people who chose to live childless, as a "criminal". 

I have friends who called me and asked me if I have fertility problems and advised me to see a doctor, even though I told them, we have no fertility problems. I found it disrespectful and hurtful at the same time to act as if you know what is best for other people's life. I have a mother in law who could not stop asking on when I will be giving her a grandchild. Thank God, my mom never pressured me too far lol. I have friends who said that I do not know anything about a kid because I have no child of my own yet and therefore my advice on how to make your baby sleep through the night or eat better is not valid (I do that for a LIVING! lol). I have friends who are trying to give me advice on how rewarding being a parent is all about, mean while they could not even take care of their ONE child and they have an army of helpers. I am living in a foreign country, by myself, no family, and my husband works a lot in a civilian and military jobs. So, please understand that not everyone has an easy as A,B,C's life as yours.

My advice to those who chose to have children, please be respectful to those who chose to live childless by choice. Everyone has their own background, needs, visions, plans and priority. Do not treat them as a weird or bad person because they choose this lifestyle. Do not try to make them feel bad by saying "There are a lot of people who are trying to get pregnant and could not, and you chose not to have a baby?", because the more you say stuff like that, the more defensive and maybe angrier they get, because you are trying to make them feel bad about something that is none of your business. 

Do not try to say, "You will change your mind once you hit a certain age" or "Parenting is so sweet and rewarding", because to many of these people, they have zero tolerance toward kids and they find no cuteness in a baby with bib and most of all, they just do not think that having a child is for them. 

Respect their decision and life. 

They are human being too and most of them are actually very sweet, smart and genuine. Accept them and also accept that they might not be doing well around your children because let's admit it, children can caused you a headache, imagine what it does to other people.

My advice to those who have friends with children and you chose to live childless is to let your friends know in a jokingly, loving way that you are just not into kids as much as they do, no offense. Understand that not everyone with kids are jealous with your child-free life, sometimes they just thought "you should try it maybe you like it" mentality, even though you will say, "Why should I try something that I know once I am in, I am in for life?". Because having a child is life changing and I am sure very rewarding and amazing moments for those who wants to have babies, so please understand why they want you (us) to have children. They wanted us to experience the happiness a child could bring, even though there are some of them who say it the wrong way. Sometimes it is how you say it that turned people off.

It is a two different world among those who have kids and those who does not have kids by choice. The other group think that we must be crazy to missed out having children, mean while we know exactly what we missed out and nope, we do not miss it at all. It is also important to keep on focusing on what you know is best for your life, disregard the hurtful comments because at the end of the day, you are the one who has to live with yourself. 

A lot of Christian said that a child is God's blessing and it is indeed. But, how about those who could not have a child of their own? It makes them think that God does not "bless" them and therefore hates them for not giving them a baby they longed for a long time. Blessing is a strong but is used way too common in a Christian's community. Some people view their kids as a "curse" and not a blessing based on their attitude, bad habit and do nothing but troubled, even though they, as a parent has done nothing but the best for them. 

Be careful to say that word to people who chose to live a childless life, because they might think that God does not care or hates them because they chose not to have a child. Remember that you might have a good life as a child growing up and not everyone had that happy childhood. Understanding that not everyone believes in God and saying those words makes them hates God even more. I, personally, do not think God will punish me for living a childless life for now. I believe that God could use anyone for anything. What about women like Mother Teresa who did nothing but good for God's kingdom and chose to live childless yet helping so many children and being a "mother" to a lot of motherless children?

I chose to live childless for now and I am happy with my decision. My husband and I have no fertility or marital or financial problems, we just chose not to rush into parenthood until we both are ready. He will make a great dad and I will make a great mom. 

I am not worry about my body getting fat because I used to be a chubby kid and I get into a small to medium size clothes now and a size 4/6 pants. I am not worry of what to do when I have kids, I have plenty of experience about it. I am not worry about my husband lack of parenting skill, because he is the most brave, independent, fun, handy, hard working and caring person I have known. 

We have sponsored a lot of kids all over the world, we have been volunteering to help children in our community. So, we are not against children or selfish, but we are more about when the time is right and when we know this is the right time. I have no regret of my decision for waiting to have babies, because it is better to get to know your spouse first before adding a new person in your life, while you do not know each other that well. I am not worry of my biological clock or others are saying or thinking of me. If God granted us a child someday, I'll be happy and if God does not give us a child, and I'll be happy as well.

BUT,

for now ..we stick with the terrier mix dog ;)

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Here are some good articles to read:

http://www.elle.com/Life-Love/Society-Career-Power/Cradle-Robber

http://www.childlessbymarriage.blogspot.com/

http://www.childlessnotbychoice.com/phpBB2/

http://www.cbn.com/family/marriage/Littauer_Childless1.aspx

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/relationship-issues/childless-by-choice

xoxo,

Lindsay

Your Spouse, Your Best Friend

This could be one of those days that I got sentimental when my husband is not with me. 

But, I do think of this a lot. 

Yes, we all have our own circle of friends, 

those whom we have known for a long time before we met our spouse. 

But, there is a special friendship and bond with our spouse that lights up the heart, 

a unique friendship.

"Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 

Husbands, love your wives, 

and do not be harsh with them."

(Colossians 3:18-19)

Our spouse have seen us on our best and our worst,

That is a beautiful thing,

Pain and Joy,

..lol..

At the same time.

UNIQUE

:)

For those who have children, 

your children will be leaving your house one day. 

It will never change the bond and love that you have with your children,  

but they will not be with you 

for the rest of your life,

as their focus,

in the same house.
There are things that you can and cannot
share with other people
including your children.
But,
You could always share those secrets
with your spouse.

Your children,
Your joy, pride and love as well.
But,
they will have their own focus,

their own family,

someday!

Your spouse suppose to be your main focus,

Your joy,

Your laughter,

Your life,
Your confidant,
Your partner at all circumstances,

Your forever!

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

(Genesis 2:24)

There is one person who will be that 'til death do you part's partner. 

Yes, your husband and/or wife will be the one who will always be with you, 

even when the children are no longer lives in the same house with you.

So, as much as you love your children, understand that your spouse needs you as well. 

You are his/her partner and best friend. 

Fulfilled each other's need, 

do things that makes you both happy,

with and without kids. 

Don't feel guilty to have date nights without the kids,

YOU and YOUR SPOUSE need that time, 

just the two of you.

"Haven't you read," he replied, 

"that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'  

and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 

and the two will become one flesh'?  

So they are no longer two, but one. 

Therefore what God has joined together, 

let man not separate."

(Matthew 19:4-6)

Love. Laugh. Live.

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xoxo,

Lindsay

MARRIAGE QUOTES

This is what I've been telling my husband!!

This is totally US! lol

This is sweet! I feel smarter now

Most of my days, and some ..urgh..LOL

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Have a beautiful Valentine's Day to my fellow marriage couples. They said that the first 50 years of marriage is the hardest, so we are totally normal couple ;)

xoxo,

Proud Wife :)

Happy Valentine's Day

                                                                   (VIA)

Have a happy, fun and memorable Valentine's Day with your loved one. Take pictures to capture the moment and cherish the memories forever. Show your loved one that you love them. God is love, loving God means we obey His words and one of them is to love one another!

xoxo,

Your Valentine :)

When the "outsider" influenced your marriage

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Lately, some of my very close friends has been dealing with separation, divorce and bitterness with their other half. It is very sad when two people who used to love each other turns into hating each other or chose to stop fight by ending the relationship. Even though I might not agree with divorce, I totally understand why people do that. I am a product of a divorce household. As sad as it might seem, some people are better not to be together in the first place. I have to be honest and say that I wished my parents were getting along well, but they were not. In fact, divorce might be one "good" decision they have ever made. I feel so sinful by saying it.

As a Christian, I am against divorce for sure. But, when your life is in danger of spousal abuse and other things that might make you or your children in danger of losing their lives, then you should seek help. Divorce should and must be the last decision in every marriage. Fight for your marriage, try very hard to make it work and be selfless. It is not a sign of weakness, it takes courage to be humble, in order to win something as important as your marriage.

There are a lot of things that made you realize that you need to end the relationship. It might be because you found a new one (aka cheating lol), comparison with others that seemed and might be better than your marriage, differences, abuse, financial troubles, and a million other excuses and reasons.

 One of them that you might or might not realized is the OUTSIDER factors.

Now, let me explain, the insider first. The insider are your spouse and only him/her. Then comes the second layer of insider, your children. The outsiders are your parents, your family, your in laws, friends, co worker, stranger, celebrity and etc.

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Don't get me wrong, family and friends are one of the most important people in our lives. But, they can either make you better, break you apart or cheer you to your divorce gates. For some cases it might be good, but for a lot of cases, NOT!

I have heard wives complained about how their in laws are so-very annoying, and too involved in their lives. I have heard husbands who complained of how much the in laws makes their wives turn against him. As funny as it gets, but your family can destroy your own marriage. Be careful and be very wise to filter and judge which information is useful and which are trash.

If you have a great family, thank God! But if you have a family who is more like a dictator than a loving parent, then be careful. Don't let this "outsider" decided whats best for you. Listen to them if they are right, but avoid them if they are trying to break what suppose to be unbreakable.

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A loving family and friends will not want to watch you fall into a deep valley of depression, abuse or never ending hurt. If they are trying to help, they will also do it out of love and respect toward your spouse. They are not the one who is living your marriage life, you and your spouse are, for life.

A loving family and friends will always be there for you. Not just when things are great, the grass are green. They are there when the sky is dark. They suppose to love you and at least show some concern when you are struggling or down in life. Those who showed up when things are great, happy and fun, are those who only love you IF and WHEN things are good. Those are NOT your real family and friends.

They might be related to you, but they do not care about you. Those who were there when you were on top of the mountain and when you are all the way down in the valley, are those who truly loves you and care about you.

I hate it when family judging you based on their own feelings and not facts. I dislike when family member taking credit for something that they were not even care in the first place. You know, the one who THINK they deserve the glory because they are family but NEVER act like one. I found it both funny and annoying.

Next time when you fight with your spouse, ask theses questions in your head:

- What did your spouse do that caused you this fight?

- Who and what influenced you to fight? Is it between the two of you or is it because of other people? including your family and friends!

- What will you gain after this fight is over? It it to become better or worse?

- Is this fight even worth it?

Don't confuse between advice and order. Don't let other people determined your happiness or dictate you how to live YOUR marriage. Some grass are greener, because you do not live there. Some marriage seems better because thats how they wanted you to see it. Everyone has problems in marriage, but not everyone is wise enough to fight for it. Even worst, when you ended your marriage or fight constantly because of the "Outsiders."

Remember, value their opinion, filter it, but don't let them decide or dictate how to live your marriage life.

Parents, RESPECT your children's spouse. 

You must let them live their own lives and trust them. Your involvement is needed when asked, but it does not mean you could interfere their lives all the time. On the other hand, be there for your children and their families as a helper that they wanted you to be, not as a "god" who control everything. Some parents still can't believe that their boy or girl is a grown up and is married and is capable to love their spouse. God intended for them to love each other. Human, including family and friends, should not break their love!

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xoxo,

Lindsay

5 years of being a wife!

So, today is our 5th Anniversary and am so happy to be married to my husband. These are some pictures on our 1st to 5th Anniversary. We met in Chicago, married in San Diego and now we are living in San Francisco, CA.

JUNE 8TH 2006

JUNE 8th 2007

JUNE 8TH 2008

JUNE 8TH 2009

JUNE 8TH 2010

WE WENT TO INDONESIA. SPECIFICALLY, WE WENT TO BALI, MANADO, BITUNG, LEMBEH THEN JAKARTA, BANDUNG AND LEMBANG. NICE VACATION :)

JUNE 8 TH 2011

I LOVE THIS CARD. WAY TOO FUNNY!

SURPRISED ME WITH THIS IN MY BACKPACK THIS MORNING

AND THESE STUFF WERE HIDDEN ALL OVER THE HOUSE ;)

I WILL WRITE MORE TOMORROW. I WILL ALSO POST MORE PICTURES OF US. WE ARE GOING TO SPEND OUR ROMANTIC GETAWAY SOMEWHERE TROPICAL. I WILL LET Y'ALL KNOW WHEN THE DAY IS HERE. PRETTY SOON!

..FOREVER IS NOT JUST A WORD, ITS OUR LOVE. THIS LOVE IS AN ENDLESS JOURNEY AND IT IS THE LONGEST ONE IN OUR LIFE..

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